The colonel sprang to his feet suddenly, his hands at his throat. He
was suffocating. The veins gnarled on his neck and brow. There was in
his heart a pain as of many knives. His arms fell: of what use was it
to struggle? He was caught, trapped in a net of his own contriving.
Softly he crossed the room and stood by the portiere beyond which was
the music-room. She was happy, happy in her youth and ignorance; she
could play all those sprightly measures, her spirit as light and
conscience-free; she could sing, she could laugh, she could dance. And
all the while his heart was breaking, breaking!
"How shall I face her mother?" he groaned.
The longing which always seizes the guilty to confess and relieve the
mind came over him. If only he dared rush in there, throw himself at
her feet, and stammer forth his wretched tale! She was of his flesh, of
his blood; when she knew she would not wholly condemn him . . . No, no!
He could not. She honored and trusted him now; she had placed him on so
high a pedestal that it was utterly impossible for him to disillusion
her young mind, to see for ever and ever the mute reproach in her
honest eyes, to feel that though his arm encircled her she was beyond
his reach.... God knew that he could not tell this child of the black
gulf he had digged for himself and her.
Sometimes there came to him the thought to put an end to this maddening
grief, by violence to period this miserable existence. But always he
cast from him the horrible thought. He was not a coward, and the
cowardice of suicide was abhorrent to him. Poverty he might leave her,
but not the legacy of a suicide. If only it might be God's kindly will
to let him die, once this abominable bargain was consummated! Death is
the seal of silence; it locks alike the lips of the living and the
dead. And she might live in ignorance, till the end of her days,
without knowing that her wealth was the price of her father's dishonor.
A mist blurred his sight; he could not see. He steadied himself, and
with an effort regained his chair noiselessly. And how often he had
smiled at the drama on the stage, with its absurdities, its tawdriness,
its impossibilities! Alas, what did they on the stage that was half so
weak as he had done: ruined himself without motive or reason!
The bell sang its buzzing note; there was the sound of crunching wheels
on the driveway; the music ceased abruptly. Silence. A door opened and
closed. A moment or so later Karloff, preceded by the girl, came into
the study. She was grave because she remembered Mrs. Chadwick. He was
grave also; he had various reasons for being so.
"Father, the count tells me that he has an engagement with you," she
said. She wondered if this appointment in any way concerned her.
"It is true, my child. Leave us, and give orders that we are not to be
disturbed."
She scrutinized him sharply. How strangely hollow his voice sounded!
Was he ill?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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