The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
He dashed off excitedly into the night. Martin remained for a moment
gazing fixedly at the butler.
'I 'ope, sir,' said Keggs, cordially, 'that my hinformation will prove
of genuine hassistance.'
'Do you know what I should like to do to you?' said Martin slowly.
'I think I 'ear Mr Keith calling you, sir.'
'I should like to take you by the scruff of your neck and--'
'There, sir! Didn't you 'ear 'im then? Quite distinct it was.'
Martin gave up the struggle with a sense of blank futility. What could
you do with a man like this? It was like quarrelling with Westminster
Abbey.
'I should 'urry, sir,' suggested Keggs, respectfully. 'I think Mr Keith
must have met with some haccident.'
His surmise proved correct. When Martin came up he found his host
seated on the ground in evident pain.
'Twisted my ankle in a hole,' he explained, briefly. 'Give me an arm
back to the house, there's a good fellow, and then run on down to the
lake and see if what Keggs said is true.'
Martin did as he was requested--so far, that is to say, as the first
half of the commission was concerned. As regarded the second, he took
it upon himself to make certain changes. Having seen Mr Keith to his
room, he put the fitting-out of the relief ship into the good hands of
a group of his fellow guests whom he discovered in the porch. Elsa's
feelings towards her rescuer might be one of unmixed gratitude; but it
might, on the other hand, be one of resentment. He did not wish her to
connect him in her mind with the episode in any way whatsoever. Martin
had once released a dog from a trap, and the dog had bitten him. He had
been on an errand of mercy, but the dog had connected him with his
sufferings and acted accordingly. It occurred to Martin that Elsa's
frame of mind would be uncommonly like that dog's.
The rescue-party set off. Martin lit a cigarette, and waited in the
porch.
It seemed a very long time before anything happened, but at last, as he
was lighting his fifth cigarette, there came from the darkness the
sound of voices. They drew nearer. Someone shouted:
'It's all right. We've found them.'
Martin threw away his cigarette and went indoors.
* * * * *
Elsa Keith sat up as her mother came into the room. Two nights and a
day had passed since she had taken to her bed.
'How are you feeling today, dear?'
'Has he gone, mother?'
'Who?'
'Mr Barstowe?'
'Yes, dear. He left this morning. He said he had business with his
publisher in London.'
'Then I can get up,' said Elsa, thankfully.
'I think you're a little hard on poor Mr Barstowe, Elsa. It was just an
accident, you know. It was not his fault that the boat slipped away.'
'It was, it was, it _was_!' cried Elsa, thumping the pillow
malignantly. 'I believe he did it on purpose, so that he could read me
his horrid poetry without my having a chance to escape. I believe
that's the only way he can get people to listen to it.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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