The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
The manager was seated at his table, thoughtfully regarding the
ceiling. His resemblance to a stuffed trout, always striking, was
subtly accentuated, and Owen, an expert in these matters, felt that his
fears had been well founded--there was trouble in the air. Somebody had
been complaining of him, and he was now about, as the phrase went, to
be 'run-in'.
A large man, seated with his back to the door, turned as he entered,
and Owen recognized the well-remembered features of Mr Prosser, the
literary loaf-slinger.
Owen regarded him without resentment. Since returning to London he had
taken the trouble of looking up his name in _Who's Who_ and had
found that he was not so undistinguished as he had supposed. He was, it
appeared, a Regius Professor and the author of some half-dozen works on
sociology--a record, Owen felt, that almost justified loaf-slinging and
ear-hole clipping in moments of irritation.
The manager started to speak, but the man of letters anticipated him.
'Is this the fool?' he roared. 'Young man, I have no wish to be hard on
a congenital idiot who is not responsible for his actions, but I must
insist on an explanation. I understand that you are in charge of the
correspondence in this office. Well, during the last week you have
three times sent unstamped letters to my fiancee, Miss Vera Delane,
Woodlands, Southbourne, Hants. What's the matter with you? Do you think
she likes paying twopence a time, or what is it?'
Owen's mind leaped back at the words. They recalled something to him.
Then he remembered.
He was conscious of a not unpleasant thrill. He had not known that he
was superstitious, but for some reason he had not been able to get
those absurd words of Mr Dorman's mother out of his mind. And here was
another prediction of hers, equally improbable, fulfilled to the
letter.
'Great Scott!' he cried. 'Are you going to be married?'
Mr Prosser and the manager started simultaneously.
'Mrs Dorman said you would be,' said Owen. 'Don't you remember?'
Mr Prosser looked keenly at him.
'Why, I've seen you before,' he said. 'You're the young turnip-headed
scallywag at the farm.'
'That's right,' said Owen.
'I've been wanting to meet you again. I thought the whole thing over,
and it struck me,' said Mr Prosser, handsomely, 'that I may have seemed
a little abrupt at our last meeting.'
'No, no.'
'The fact is, I was in the middle of an infernally difficult passage of
my book that morning, and when you began--'
'It was my fault entirely. I quite understand.'
Mr Prosser produced a card-case.
'We must see more of each other,' he said. 'Come and have a bit of
dinner some night. Come tonight.'
'I'm very sorry. I have to go to the theatre tonight.'
'Then come and have a bit of supper afterwards. Excellent. Meet me at
the Savoy at eleven-fifteen. I'm glad I didn't hit you with that loaf.
Abruptness has been my failing through life. My father was just the
same. Eleven-fifteen at the Savoy, then.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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