The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
George, from boyhood up, had been raised in that school of thought
whose watchword is 'Findings are keepings', and, having ascertained
that there was no address attached to the name, he was on the point, I
regret to say, of pouching the volume, which already he looked upon as
his own, when a figure detached itself from the crowd, and he found
himself gazing into a pair of grey and, to his startled conscience,
accusing eyes.
'Oh, thank you! I was afraid it was lost.'
She was breathing quickly, and there was a slight flush on her face.
She took the book from George's unresisting hand and rewarded him with
a smile.
'I missed it, and I couldn't think where I could have left it. Then I
remembered that I had been sitting here. Thank you so much.'
She smiled again, turned, and walked away, leaving George to reckon up
all the social solecisms he had contrived to commit in the space of a
single moment. He had remained seated, he reminded himself, throughout
the interview; one. He had not raised his hat, that fascinating Homburg
simply made to be raised with a debonair swish under such conditions;
two. Call it three, because he ought to have raised it twice. He had
gaped like a fool; four. And, five, he had not uttered a single word of
acknowledgement in reply to her thanks.
Five vast bloomers in under a minute! What could she have thought of
him? The sun ceased to shine. What sort of an utter outsider could she
have considered him? An east wind sprang up. What kind of a Cockney
bounder and cad could she have taken him for? The sea turned to an oily
grey; and George, rising, strode back in the direction of his hotel in
a mood that made him forget that he had brown boots on at all.
His mind was active. Several times since he had come to Roville he had
been conscious of a sensation which he could not understand, a vague,
yearning sensation, a feeling that, splendid as everything was in this
paradise of colour, there was nevertheless something lacking. Now he
understood. You had to be in love to get the full flavour of these
vivid whites and blues. He was getting it now. His mood of dejection
had passed swiftly, to be succeeded by an exhilaration such as he had
only felt once in his life before, about half-way through a dinner
given to the Planet staff on a princely scale by a retiring general
manager.
He was exalted. Nothing seemed impossible to him. He would meet the
girl again on the promenade, he told himself, dashingly renew the
acquaintance, show her that he was not the gaping idiot he had
appeared. His imagination donned its seven-league boots. He saw himself
proposing--eloquently--accepted, married, living happily ever after.
It occurred to him that an excellent first move would be to find out
where she was staying. He bought a paper and turned to the list of
visitors. Miss Waveney. Where was it. He ran his eye down the column.
And then, with a crash, down came his air-castles in hideous ruin.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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