The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
It would be absurd to say that Rollo looked at his uncle keenly. He was
not capable of looking keenly at anyone. But certainly a puzzled
expression came into his face. Whether it was the heartiness of the
other's hand-shake or the unusual cheeriness of his voice, he could not
say; but something gave him the impression that a curious change had
come over the Braces King. When they had met before during the last few
years Mr Galloway had been practically sixteen stone five of blood and
iron--one of those stern, soured men. His attitude had been that of one
for whom Life's music had ceased. Had he then inserted another record?
His manner conveyed that idea.
Sustained thought always gave Rollo a headache. He ceased to speculate.
'Still got the same _chef_ here, uncle?' he said. 'Deuced brainy
fellow. I always like dining here.'
'Here!' Mr Galloway surveyed the somnolent occupants of the room with
spirited scorn. 'We aren't going to dine in this forsaken old
mausoleum. I've sent in my resignation today. If I find myself wanting
this sort of thing at any time, I'll go to Paris and hunt up the
Morgue. Bunch of old dead-beats! Bah! I've engaged a table at Romano's.
That's more in my line. Get your coat, and let's be going.'
In the cab Rollo risked the headache. At whatever cost this thing must
be pondered over. His uncle prattled gaily throughout the journey. Once
he whooped--some weird, forgotten college yell, dragged from the misty
depths of the past. It was passing strange. And in this unusual manner
the two rolled into the Strand, and drew up at Romano's door.
Mr Galloway was a good trencherman. At a very early date he had
realized that a man who wishes to make satisfactory braces must keep
his strength up. He wanted a good deal here below, and he wanted it
warm and well cooked. It was, therefore, not immediately that his
dinner with Rollo became a feast of reason and a flow of soul. Indeed,
the two revellers had lighted their cigars before the elder gave forth
any remark that was not purely gastronomic.
When he did jerk the conversation up on to a higher plane, he jerked it
hard. He sent it shooting into the realms of the soulful with a whiz.
'Rollo,' he said, blowing a smoke-ring, 'do you believe in affinities?'
Rollo, in the act of sipping a liqueur brandy, lowered his glass in
surprise. His head was singing slightly as the result of some rather
spirited Bollinger (extra sec), and he wondered if he had heard aright.
Mr Galloway continued, his voice rising as he spoke.
'My boy,' he said, 'I feel young tonight for the first time in years.
And, hang it, I'm not so old! Men have married at twice my age.'
Strictly speaking, this was incorrect, unless one counted Methuselah;
but perhaps Mr Galloway spoke figuratively.
'Three times my age,' he proceeded, leaning back and blowing smoke,
thereby missing his nephew's agitated start. 'Four times my age. Five
times my age. Six--'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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