The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
'You aren't angry?' she smiled up at Rollo.
'Angry?' He reflected. Of course, it was only reasonable that he should
be a little--well, not exactly angry, but--And then for the first time
it came to him that the situation was not entirely without its
compensations. Until that moment he had completely forgotten Mr
Galloway.
'Angry?' he said. 'Great Scott, no! Jolly glad I came back in time to
get a bit of the wedding-breakfast. I want it, I can tell you. I'm
hungry. Here we all are, eh? Let's enjoy ourselves. Wilson, old scout,
bustle about and give us your imitation of a bridegroom mixing a "B.
and S." for the best man. Mrs Wilson, if you'll look in at the theatre
tomorrow you'll find one or two small wedding presents waiting for you.
Three bouquets--they'll be a bit withered, I'm afraid--a bracelet, and
a gold Billiken with ruby eyes. I hope he'll bring you luck. Oh,
Wilson!'
'Sir?'
'Touching this little business--don't answer if it's a delicate
question, but I _should_ like to know--I suppose you didn't try
the schedule. What? More the Market Thingummy method, eh? The one you
described to me?'
'Market Bumpstead, sir?' said Wilson. 'On those lines.'
Rollo nodded thoughtfully.
'It seems to me,' he said, 'they know a thing or two down in Market
Bumpstead.'
'A very rising little place, sir,' assented Wilson.
SIR AGRAVAINE
A TALE OF KING ARTHUR'S ROUND TABLE
Some time ago, when spending a delightful week-end at the ancestral
castle of my dear old friend, the Duke of Weatherstonhope (pronounced
Wop), I came across an old black-letter MS. It is on this that the
story which follows is based.
I have found it necessary to touch the thing up a little here and
there, for writers in those days were weak in construction. Their idea
of telling a story was to take a long breath and start droning away
without any stops or dialogue till the thing was over.
I have also condensed the title. In the original it ran, '"How it came
about that ye good Knight Sir Agravaine ye Dolorous of ye Table Round
did fare forth to succour a damsel in distress and after divers
journeyings and perils by flood and by field did win her for his bride
and right happily did they twain live ever afterwards," by Ambrose ye
monk.'
It was a pretty snappy title for those days, but we have such a high
standard in titles nowadays that I have felt compelled to omit a few
yards of it.
We may now proceed to the story.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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