The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
Earl Dorm of the Hills, was a small, elderly man, with what Agravaine
considered a distinctly furtive air about him. His eyes were too close
together, and he was over-lavish with a weak, cunning smile. Even
Agravaine, who was in the mood to like the whole family, if possible,
for Yvonne's sake, could not help feeling that appearances were against
this particular exhibit. He might have a heart of gold beneath the
outward aspect of a confidence-trick expert whose hobby was dog-stealing,
but there was no doubt that his exterior did not inspire a genial glow
of confidence.
'Very good of you to come,' said the earl.
'It's a pleasure,' said Agravaine. 'I have been hearing all about the
dragon.'
'A great scourge,' agreed his host. 'We must have a long talk about it
after dinner.'
It was the custom in those days in the stately homes of England for the
whole strength of the company to take their meals together. The guests
sat at the upper table, the ladies in a gallery above them, while the
usual drove of men-at-arms, archers, malapert rogues, varlets, scurvy
knaves, scullions, and plug-uglies attached to all medieval households,
squashed in near the door, wherever they could find room.
The retinue of Earl Dorm was not strong numerically--the household
being, to judge from appearances, one that had seen better days; but it
struck Agravaine that what it lacked in numbers it made up in
toughness. Among all those at the bottom of the room there was not one
whom it would have been agreeable to meet alone in a dark alley. Of
all those foreheads not one achieved a height of more than one point
nought four inches. A sinister collection, indeed, and one which,
Agravaine felt, should have been capable of handling without his
assistance any dragon that ever came into the world to stimulate the
asbestos industry.
He was roused from his reflections by the voice of his host.
'I hope you are not tired after your journey, Sir Agravaine? My little
girl did not bore you, I trust? We are very quiet folk here. Country
mice. But we must try to make your visit interesting.'
Agravaine felt that the dragon might be counted upon to do that. He
said as much.
'Ah, yes, the dragon,' said Earl Dorm, 'I was forgetting the dragon. I
want to have a long talk with you about that dragon. Not now. Later
on.'
His eye caught Agravaine's, and he smiled that weak, cunning smile of
his. And for the first time the knight was conscious of a curious
feeling that all was not square and aboveboard in this castle. A
conviction began to steal over him that in some way he was being played
with, that some game was afoot which he did not understand, that--in a
word--there was dirty work at the cross-roads.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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