The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
'Way over in England, Peggy, there's a county called Worcestershire.
And somewhere near the edge of that there's a grey house with gables,
and there's a lawn and a meadow and a shrubbery, and an orchard and a
rose-garden, and a big cedar on the terrace before you get to the
rose-garden. And if you climb to the top of that cedar, you can see the
river through the apple trees in the orchard. And in the distance there
are hills. And--'
'Of all the rube joints!' exclaimed Peggy, in deep disgust. 'Why, a day
of that would be about twenty-three hours and a bit too long for me.
Broadway for mine! Put me where I can touch Forty-Second Street without
over-balancing, and then you can leave me. I never thought you were
such a hayseed, George.'
'Don't worry, Peggy. It'll be a long time, I expect, before I go there.
I've got to make my fortune first.'
'Getting anywhere near the John D. class yet?'
'I've still some way to go. But things are moving, I think. Do you
know, Peggy, you remind me of a little Billiken, sitting on that
table?'
'Thank _you_, George. I always knew my mouth was rather wide, but
I did think I had Billiken to the bad. Do you do that sort of Candid
Friend stunt with _her_?' She pointed to the photograph on the
mantelpiece. It was the first time since the night when they had met
that she had made any allusion to it. By silent agreement the subject
had been ruled out between them. 'By the way, you never told me her
name.'
'Halliday,' said Rutherford, shortly.
'What else?'
'Alice.'
'Don't bite at me, George! I'm not hurting you. Tell me about her. I'm
interested. Does she live in the grey house with the pigs and chickens
and all them roses, and the rest of the rube outfit?'
'No.'
'Be chummy, George. What's the matter with you?'
'I'm sorry, Peggy,' he said. 'I'm a fool. It's only that it all seems
so damned hopeless! Here am I, earning about half a dollar a year,
and--Still, it's no use kicking, is it? Besides, I may make a home-run
with my writing one of these days. That's what I meant when I said you
were a Billiken, Peggy. Do you know, you've brought me luck. Ever since
I met you, I've been doing twice as well. You're my mascot.'
'Bully for me! We've all got our uses in the world, haven't we? I
wonder if it would help any if I was to kiss you, George?'
'Don't you do it. One mustn't work a mascot too hard.'
She jumped down, and came across the room to where he sat, looking down
at him with the round, grey eyes that always reminded him of a
kitten's.
'George!'
'Yes?'
'Oh, nothing!'
She turned away to the mantelpiece, and stood gazing at the photograph,
her back towards him.
'George!'
'Hullo?'
'Say, what colour eyes has she got?'
'Grey.'
'Like mine?'
'Darker than yours.'
'Nicer than mine?'
'Don't you think we might talk about something else?'
She swung round, her fists clenched, her face blazing.
'I hate you!' she cried. 'I do! I wish I'd never seen you! I wish--'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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