The Man Upstairs and Other StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Man Upstairs and Other Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories, English
I turned to thank my preserver, whose table adjoined mine. He was a
Frenchman, a melancholy-looking man. He had the appearance of one who
has searched for the leak in life's gas-pipe with a lighted candle; of
one whom the clenched fist of Fate has smitten beneath the
temperamental third waistcoat-button.
He waved my thanks aside. 'It was a bagatelle,' he said. We became
friendly. He moved to my table, and we fraternized over our coffee.
Suddenly he became agitated. He kicked at something on the floor. His
eyes gleamed angrily.
'Ps-s-st!' he hissed. 'Va-t'en!'
I looked round the corner of the table, and perceived the restaurant
cat in dignified retreat.
'You do not like cats?' I said.
'I 'ate all animals, monsieur. Cats especially.' He frowned. He seemed
to hesitate.
'I will tell you my story,' he said. 'You will sympathize. You have a
sympathetic face. It is the story of a man's tragedy. It is the story
of a blighted life. It is the story of a woman who would not forgive.
It is the story--'
'I've got an appointment at eleven,' I said.
He nodded absently, drew at his cigarette, and began:
* * * * *
I have conceived my 'atred of animals, monsieur, many years ago in
Paris. Animals are to me a symbol for the lost dreams of youth, for
ambitions foiled, for artistic impulses cruelly stifled. You are
astonished. You ask why I say these things. I shall tell you.
I am in Paris, young, ardent, artistic. I wish to paint pictures. I
'ave the genius, the ent'usiasm. I wish to be disciple of the great
Bouguereau. But no. I am dependent for support upon an uncle. He is
rich. He is proprietor of the great Hotel Jules Priaulx. My name is
also Priaulx. He is not sympathetic. I say, 'Uncle, I 'ave the genius,
the ent'usiasm. Permit me to paint.' He shakes his head. He say, 'I
will give you position in my hotel, and you shall earn your living.'
What choice? I weep, but I kill my dreams, and I become cashier at my
uncle's hotel at a salary of thirty-five francs a week. I, the artist,
become a machine for the changing of money at dam bad salary. What
would you? What choice? I am dependent. I go to the hotel, and there I
learn to 'ate all animals. Cats especially.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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