For one brief space of reaction after finding Alicia, the senses reeled,
the worn body and mind swooned into a sort of deliquescence of
lassitude, the eyes smarted with unshed meaningless moisture, the
overdriven heart throbbed with a vast supernal relief, coextensive with
the universe. Then, swiftly, with an almost audible sound, that
unnerved brain slid into its customary shape of health, more wholesomely
joyous than ever before, and all the world was bathed in freshness.
The blue of the sky was fairer, the sunlight purer, and even the poor
suburban grass of Crestlands autumnally waning, glistened with the
verdure and brightness of a new creation. But who can describe
happiness?
Pendleton is gone, Alicia—the children are here.
No eight words in the language of Shakespeare and Milton have ever
breathed to me the same meaning as those eight words. Yet what do they
signify on paper?
All Europe is in a turmoil, and the Germans have all but taken Paris,
yet this, I perceive, is my first mention of a vast catastrophe. What
tiny self-absorbed creatures are men! People are dying and suffering by
the thousands, yet we cisatlantians scan the headlines and pursue our
own ends in the accustomed way. What though half the planet is in
peril—I have reconquered my home!
Why, I wonder, had I ever imagined myself to have a horror of home? A
home is a little island of personal love in the vast impersonal chaos of
existence—and pity him or her who never lands upon that island.
Of nights, occasionally, I now indulge myself in a fire on the hearth.
The wood that burns brightest, I note, leaves only a little heap of
white ashes. When my eyes rest upon Alicia, or I see the children
flitting about, or hear their ringing voices through the house, I
experience a wonderful contentment that I am the fire at which they may
warm their hands. I, who once entertained fantastic visions of future
greatness, of name and fame, now feel content to become a little heap of
white ashes.
Sergeant Cullum, excellent man, journeyed out here two days after I had
found Alicia, a day after the legal ceremony of adoption, to apprise me
that "he believed my ward to be in Baltimore." I was about to burst
into uncontrollable laughter, but my conscience smote me and I was
ashamed. In my vast relief I had wholly and selfishly forgotten this
good man who was still upon the quest. What power of divination or
answer to prayer had directed his thoughts to Baltimore, I cannot
imagine. But with my contrite apology and thanks went a gift that I
trust has soothed his ruffled feelings. We parted in friendship. Oh,
excellent thaumaturgic policeman!
Randolph burst into a loud sniffing laugh when I told him and Alicia of
Sergeant Cullum’s visit and the Baltimore "clew."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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