Since it is for you, Randolph Byrd, aged seventy, that this vagrom
journal has been written, I should deem myself derelict and insincere if
I did not convey to you in every detail the sort of creature you were in
middle life. If you fail to approve of your progenitor, I shall know
that I have been exact, for I fail to approve of him myself.
We are at war. Every fiber in me should thrill to the President’s
declaration of war against Germany, but here I have been calmly turning
the pages of "The Description of a Maske", by Thomas Campion (S.
Dunstone’s Churchyard in Fleetstreet 1607). It is a beautiful volume in
excellent preservation, one of five brought in by a young man who is
going to enlist. He inherited them from a grandfather, possibly an old
fellow like you, who held them precious. I bought them eagerly, for I
know where I can dispose of them, though I should dearly like to place
them in my own shelves. We shall make a profit on them, and a handsome
one. That is the sort of thought that runs through my head, Randolph
Byrd, _aet._ 70, and that is the sort of man you were thirty odd years
ago. You never were young in your youth, my fine friend. Perhaps you
will grow younger as you grow older.
But that is not all. Above the sensuous pleasure in the books and
overriding the thought of lucre, is the strange romance of Alicia and
your namesake, Randolph Pendleton. It blasts all my previous
conceptions of romance. Where is the color and the warmth and the glory
of it? I had expected after their announcement of a few days ago that I
should be bitterly engaged in watching a glorious April dawn that would
blind me with its strange flames because it was not for me. Instead I
seem to see only a somber murky twilight whenever I surprise those two
in private colloquy. The mere thought of the possibility of Alicia
loving me (fantastic arrogance!) was wont to irradiate my heart and to
make me positively light-headed, so that I could scarcely withhold my
lips from smiling publicly. But my young cub of a nephew seems haggard
and obsessed by care, and upon Alicia’s eyes I have more than once
observed traces of tears.
What can be the meaning of that?
Were I in reality a parent instead of masquerading as one, I should no
doubt endeavor to fathom this mystery. But you see, I am still, as
always, inadequate. The truth is, I dare not yet talk to Alicia about
her love. A little later, Randolph Byrd, a little later—when the pain
is more decently domesticated in my bosom and will not fly out like a
newly unchained hound. Meanwhile is it not best that I fasten my
attention upon Thomas Campion his Maske?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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