The Man Who Lost HimselfStacpoole, H. De Vere (Henry De Vere)
General
The Man Who Lost Himself
Stacpoole, H. De Vere (Henry De Vere)
Mistaken identity -- Fiction
Close to where Jones had taken his seat was standing a person in broken
shoes, an old straw hat, a coat, with parcels evidently in the tail
pockets, and trousers frayed at the heels. He had a red unshaven face,
and was reading the _Evening Courier_.
Suddenly he banged the paper with the tips of the fingers of his right
hand and cast it on the counter.
"Govinment! Govinment! nice sort of govinment, payin' each other four
hundred a year for followin' Asquith and robbin' the landowners to get
the money--God lumme."
He paused to light a filthy clay pipe. He had his eyes on Jones, and
evidently considered him, for some occult reason, of the same way of
political thinking as himself, and he addressed him in that impersonal
way in which one addresses an audience.
"They've downed and outed the House o' Lords, an' now they're scraggin'
the Welsh Church, after that they'll go for the Landed Prepriotor and
finish _him_. And who's to blame? the Radicals--no, they ain't to
blame, no more than rats for their instincts; we're to blame, the
Conservatives is to blame, we haven't got a fightin' man to purtect us.
The Radicals has got all the tallant--you look at the fight Bonna Lor's
been makin' this week. Fight! A blind Tom cat with his head in an old
t'marter tin would make a better fight than Bonna Lor's put up. Look at
Churchill, that chap was one of us once, he was born to lead the
clarses, an' now look at him leadin' the marses, up to his neck in
Radical dirt and pretendin' he likes it. He doesn't, but he's a man with
an eye in his head and he knows what we are, a boneless lot without
organisation. I say it myself, I said it only larst night in this here
bar, and I say it again, for two pins I'd chuck my party. I would so.
For two pins I'd chuck the country, and leave the whole lot to stew in
their own grease."
He addressed himself to his beer, and Jones, greatly marvelling, lit a
cigarette.
"Do you live here?" asked he.
"Sh'd think I did," replied the other. "Born here and bred here, and
been watchin' the place going down for the last twenty years, turnin'
from a decent residential neighbourhood to a collection of schools and
lodgin' houses, losin' clarse every year. Why the biggest house here is
owned by a chap that sells patent food, there's two socialists on the
town council, and the Mayor last year was Hoover, a chap that owns a
lunatic 'sylum. One of his loonies got out last March and near did for a
child on the Southgate Road before he was collared; and yet they make a
Mayor of him."
"Have another drink?" said Jones.
"I don't mind if I do."
"Well, here's luck," said he, putting his nose into the new glass.
"Luck!" said Jones. "Do Hoover's lunatics often escape?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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