The Man Who Lost HimselfStacpoole, H. De Vere (Henry De Vere)
General
The Man Who Lost Himself
Stacpoole, H. De Vere (Henry De Vere)
Mistaken identity -- Fiction
Two gentlemen in white flannels were playing croquet; stout elderly
gentlemen they were. And on a garden seat a young man in flannel
trousers and a grey tweed coat was seated watching the game and smoking
cigarettes.
He guessed these people to be fellow prisoners. They looked happy
enough, and having noticed this fact he sat down to breakfast.
He noted that the knife accompanying his fork was blunt and of very poor
quality--of the sort warranted not to cut throats, but he did not heed
much. He had other things to think of. The men in flannels had given him
a shock. Instinctively he knew them to be "inmates." He had never
considered the question of lunatics and lunatic asylums before. Vague
recollections of Edgar Allan Poe and the works of Charles Reade had
surrounded the term lunatic asylum with an atmosphere of feather beds
and brutality; the word lunatic conjured up in his mind the idea of a
man obviously insane. The fact that this place was a house quite
ordinary and pleasant in appearance, and these sane looking gentlemen
lunatics, gave him a grue.
The fact that an apparently sane individual can be held as a prisoner
was beginning to steal upon him, that a man might be able to play
croquet and laugh and talk and take an intelligent interest in life and
yet, just because of some illusion, be held as a prisoner.
He did not fully realise this yet, but it was dawning upon him. But he
did fully realise that he had lost his liberty.
Before he had finished his eggs and bacon this recognition became acute.
The fear of losing his own personality had vanished utterly; all that
haunting dread was gone. If he could escape now, so he told himself, he
would go right back to the States. He had eight thousand pounds in the
National Provincial Bank; no one knew that it was there. He could seize
it with a clear conscience and take it to Philadelphia. The shadow of
Rochester--oh, that was a thing gone forever, dissipated by this actual
fact of lost liberty--so he told himself.
A servant brought up the _Times_ and he opened it, and lit a cigarette.
Then as he looked casually over the news and the doings of the day, an
extraordinary feeling came upon him; all this printed matter was
relative to the doings and ideas of free men, men who could walk down
the street, if the fancy pleased them. It was like looking at the world
through bars. He got up and paced the floor, the breakfast things had
been removed, and the attendant had left the room and was in the bed-room
adjoining.
Jones walked softly to the door through which the servant had carried
away the things, and opened it gently and without noise. A corridor lay
outside, and he was just entering it when a voice from behind made him
turn.
"Do you require anything, sir?"
It was the attendant.
"Nothing," said Jones. "I was just looking to see where this place led
to." He came back into the room.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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