She became thoughtful as she listened to his impressive speech. Robust
and strong, Lubov was thinking of marriage more and more frequently
of late, for she saw no other way out of her loneliness. The desire to
forsake her father and go away somewhere in order to study something,
to do something. This desire she had long since overcome, even as she
conquered in herself many another longing just as keen, but shallow
and indefinite. From the various books she had read a thick sediment
remained within her, and though it was something live it had the life
of a protoplasm. This sediment developed in the girl a feeling of
dis-satisfaction with her life, a yearning toward personal independence,
a longing to be freed from the heavy guardianship of her father, but she
had neither the power to realize these desires, nor the clear conception
of their realization. But nature had its influence on her, and at the
sight of young mothers with children in their arms Lubov often felt a
sad and mournful languor within her. At times stopping before the mirror
she sadly scrutinized in it her plump, fresh face with dark circles
around her eyes, and she felt sorry for herself. She felt that life was
going past her, forgetting her somewhere on the side. Now listening to
her father’s words she pictured to herself what sort of man Smolin might
be. She had met him when he was yet a Gymnasium student, his face was
covered with freckles, he was snub-nosed, always clean, sedate and
tiresome. He danced heavily, awkwardly, he talked uninterestingly.
A long time had passed since then, he had been abroad, had studied
something there, how was he now? From Smolin her thoughts darted to
her brother, and with a sinking heart she thought: what would he say in
reply to her letter? What sort of a man was he? The image of her brother
as she had pictured it to herself prevented her from seeing both her
father and Smolin, and she had already made up her mind not to consent
to marry before meeting Taras, when suddenly her father shouted to her:
“Eh, Lubovka! Why are you thoughtful? What are you thinking of mostly?”
“So, everything goes so swiftly,” replied Luba, with a smile.
“What goes swiftly?”
“Everything. A week ago it was impossible to speak with you about Taras,
while now--”
“‘Tis need, my girl! Need is a power, it bends a steel rod into a
spring. And steel is stubborn. Taras, we’ll see what he is! Man is to
be appreciated by his resistance to the power of life; if it isn’t life
that wrings him, but he that wrings life to suit himself, my respects to
that man! Allow me to shake your hand, let’s run our business together.
Eh, I am old. And how very brisk life has become now! With each
succeeding year there is more and more interest in it, more and more
relish to it! I wish I could live forever, I wish I could act all the
time!” The old man smacked his lips, rubbed his hands, and his small
eyes gleamed greedily.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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