Conduct of life -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Physicians -- Fiction
Now a cab did approach; she held her breath as it rattled near. It
stopped, she fancied, before the hospital gate. Still with her stare
riveted on the unconscious child, she strained her ears for the
confirmatory tread. The seconds ticked away, swelling to minutes, but
no footstep fell. The hope had been a false one! Presently the cab
was heard again, driving away. She began to be distressed, alarmed.
Making allowance for a too sanguine calculation, it was time that
he was here!... The delay was unaccountable; no conjecture could be
formed as to its extent. Her fingers were laced and unlaced in her
lap nervously. She imagined the rumble of wheels in the soughing of
the wind, alternately intent and discomfited. The faint slamming of
a cottage-door startled her to expectation. In the profundity of the
hush that spread with every subsidence of sound, she seemed to hear the
throbbing of her heart.
Out in the town a clock struck twelve, and apprehension verged upon
despair. The eyes fixed on the boy were desperate now; she leant over
him to contest the advent of the end shade by shade. So far no change
was shown; Tony's fast dwindling chance was not yet lost. "God, God!
Send him quick!" she prayed. Racked with impatience, tortured by the
fear that what she had done might, after all, be unavailing, she strove
to devise some theory to uphold her. Debarred from venting her suspense
in action, she found the constraint of her posture almost physical
pain.
The clock boomed the hour of one. It swept suddenly across her mind
that the Matron had been doubtful of letting him proceed to the ward on
his return: he must have come and gone! She had been reaching forward,
and her arm remained extended vaguely. Consternation engulfed her. If
during ten seconds she thought of anything but her neglect to ensure
his being admitted, she thought she felt the blood in her freezing
from head to foot. He had come and gone!--she was thwarted by her own
oversight. Defeat paralysed the woman.... Her exploit now assumed an
aspect of grievous hazard, enhanced by its futility. She lifted herself
faint at soul. Her services were instinctive, mechanical; she resumed
them, she was assiduous and watchful; but she appeared to be prompted
by some external influence, with her brain benumbed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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