Conduct of life -- Fiction; Man-woman relationships -- Fiction; Physicians -- Fiction
"You mustn't talk like that. I must have blundered very badly to give
you such an idea. Don't let's stand here! Do you mind turning back a
little way? If what I said to you obliged you to leave Westport, I
should reproach myself for it bitterly."
They strolled slowly down the street; and during a minute each of the
pair sought phrases.
"It's certain," she said abruptly, "that my being your mother's
companion is quite wrong! If I weren't in the house you'd go there the
same as you used to. I can't help feeling that."
"But I _will_ go there the same as I used to. I have said so."
"Yes," she murmured.
"Doesn't that satisfy you?"
"You'll go, but the fact remains that you'd rather not; and the cause
of your reluctance is my presence there."
"It is you who are insisting on the reluctance," he fenced; "_I've_
not said I am reluctant. I thought you'd prefer me to avoid you for a
while; personally----"
"Oh!" she said, "do you think I've not seen? I know very well the
position is a false one!"
"I told you I'd never become a worry to you," he said humbly; "I've
been trying to keep my word."
"You've been everything that is considerate; the fault is my own. I
ought to have resigned the place the day after you spoke to me."
"I don't think that would have helped me much. You must understand that
a change like that was the very last thing I wanted my love to effect."
At the word "love" the woman flinched a little, and he himself had not
been void of sensation in uttering it. The sound of it was loud to both
of them. But to her it added to the sense of awkwardness, while to the
man it seemed to bring them nearer.
"It was very dense of me," he went on; "but with all the consequences
of speaking to you that I foresaw I never took into account the one
that has happened. I wondered if I was justified in asking you to give
up a comfortable living for such a home as I could offer; I considered
half a dozen things; but that I might be making the house unbearable to
you I overlooked. Now, with your interest at heart all the time, I've
injured you! I can't tell you how sorry I am to learn it."
"It's not unbearable," she said; "'unbearable' is much too strong. But
I do see my duty, and I know the right thing is for me to go away; your
mother would have you then as she ought to have you. While I stop, it
can never be really free for either of you. And of course she knows!"
"Do you think she does?" he exclaimed.
"Are women blind? Of course she knows! And what can she feel towards
me? It's only the affection she has for you that prevents her
discharging me."
"Oh, don't!" he said. "'Discharging' you!"
"What am I? I'm only her servant. Don't blink facts, Dr. Kincaid; I'm
your mother's companion, a woman you had never seen two years ago. It
would have been a good deal better for you if you had never seen me at
all!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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