"It was on the afternoon of the fourteenth day that M. Longuet embarked
on a subject of conversation extremely distasteful to me, the edible
qualities of the human body. I tried gently to divert him from it; but
it appeared to have become one of his fixed ideas; and he harped on it
for two very tedious hours. That evening I halted for supper on the
banks of a stream, nearly eighteen inches wide, which ran across the
passage we were in; and after supper I suggested that, before retiring
for the night, he should for once glut his sportsman's ardour.
"Though indeed he had no hooks, he fell to his angling with the
liveliest eagerness. We turned the light of our lamp on to the waters
of the stream, and presently out of the hole in the wall from which it
issued, there came swimming a little fish. Then we found that hooks
were unnecessary in the sport of the Catacombs. Owing to the fact that
the little fish had no eyes, M. Longuet was able to lay his hand on
the bed of the stream, which was, perhaps, at that point three inches
deep, and when the little fish came swimming over it, to jerk up his
hand and fling it on the bank. We examined his catch in the light of
our lamp; but I was unable to say whether it was an Asellus Aquaticus
or a Cyclops Fimbriatus.
"In the course of the next quarter of an hour we caught three more
of these little fishes (they were nearly four inches long); then,
at the sight of fresh fish, a wolfish gleam came into M. Longuet's
eyes; and he suggested that we should repeat the supper we had only
just finished. After his distasteful conversation of the afternoon,
I made no objection. But with his ineradicable middle-class instinct
he complained that we had no means of cooking our catch. I explained
to him that our early ancestors, the cave-men, probably ate most of
their food raw, and whatever else we were, we were, at the moment,
undoubtedly cave-men. With this new intellectual alertness, acquired
by following the method of M. Fletcher of the United States, he saw
my point. We cleaned the fish with the knife of Signor Petito and ate
them. They were delicious.
"But, as I should have foreseen, so much rich food coming suddenly
after the rational diet on which we had subsisted during the last
fortnight was too much for us, and for several hours we suffered the
most acute pangs of indigestion. Moreover, with the greedy haste of
gourmands, we had not timed ourselves over the meal, and had eaten the
fish far too quickly. However, no experience is wasted on a rational
man; and I realised that one Asellus Aquaticus, after ham, is enough
for the logical Fletcherite.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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