"'"As sure as my name's Regina, you'll see no more of me, and you'll
never hear the 'Carnival of Venice' again, if in forty-eight hours
from now you haven't found some way of making a big enough income to
support me properly. When I married you, Signor Petito, you deceived
me shamefully about the amount of your fortune and the character of
your intelligence. A nice thing that fortune of yours, Signor Petito!
We're two quarters behind with the rent; and unless we wish to lose our
furniture, we must shoot the moon. And as for your intelligence! Well,
when a woman is young and pretty like I am, she wants a husband with
enough intelligence to find the money to pay her dressmaker's bill. Am
I to go back to my mother, or are you going to do it?"
"'The earless man is speaking... He says:
"'"Oh, shut up, Regina, you're only making my head ache. Can't you
leave me in peace to discover the hiding-place of the treasures, which
the silly fool downstairs is incapable of getting out of the earth?"
"'The silly fool,' said the sleeping Theophrastus, 'is Cartouche!'
"'I was waiting for that word,' said M. de la Nox quickly. 'Now I can
make him quit _the Present_! Pray, madame! pray, my friend! the hour
has come! _I am going to tempt Providence!_'
"Then, raising his hand above the brow of my sleeping friend, he said
in a voice of command impossible, utterly impossible, to disobey:
'Cartouche, what were you doing at ten o'clock at night on the First of
April, 1721?'
"'At ten o'clock at night on the First of April, 1721,' said the
sleeping Theophrastus without a moment's hesitation, 'I tap sharply
twice on the door of the Queen Margot tavern... After the row I should
never have believed that I could have got so easily to Ferronnerie
Street... But I did for the horse of the French Guard, or rather he
fell down near the pump at Notre-Dame... I have thrown my pursuers
off my track... At the Queen Margot I find Patapon, Saint James's
Gate, and Black-mug... Pretty-Milkmaid is with them... I tell them the
story over a bottle of ratafia... I trusted them; and I tell them that
I suspect Old Easy-Going, and perhaps Marie-Antoinette herself, of
having whispered something to the Police... They all protested... But
I shout louder than they; and they are quiet... I tell them that I
have made up my mind to deal faithfully with all those who give me any
reason to suspect them. I get into a fine rage... Pretty-Milkmaid says
that there's no longer any living with me... It's true that there's
no longer any living with me... But is it my fault?... Everybody
betrays me. I can't sleep two nights running in the same place... Where
are the days when I had all Paris on my side? The day of my wedding
with Marie-Antoinette? The day when at the Little Seal tavern in
Faubourg-Saint-Antoine Street, we sang in chorus:
"Guzzle, cullies, and booze away,
Till Gabriel's trump on Judgment Day!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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