She left her sewing and sat down, the letter open on her knees.
One definite thought held her now--this must be stopped--at any cost!
But where was she to find the money? She crossed to the table by the
window, unlocked a drawer and drew out her pass-book, turning the pages
feverishly.
There was Roddy, clamouring for clothes, household bills in abeyance,
Jill's music lessons to pay ... Then, like a flash, it came to her.
Her diamond star! Yes--that must go.
Anything--to keep Stephen!
She felt like a man who for many months has moved on crutches and finds
himself suddenly bereft of them, helpless, without support ...
But was it fair?--fair to Jill. The star had been her husband's
gift--she had meant to leave it to her child.
The fight began. In reality, it resolved itself into a choice between
the pair--Stephen, her friend, and Jill ... that "independent" daughter.
The adjective betrayed her mood.
For, proud as she was in her mother's heart of the bright young girl
with her clever brain, the rankling fact was hidden there--her
offspring had outgrown the nest.
She could not realize that the age was mainly responsible for the lack
of what she called "proper respect"--that mid-Victorian subservience.
She held that what _she_ considered fit was the natural guidance for
the girl; that the latter should shape her every thought in the mould
of the past generation.
Yet she, herself, had broken loose. It did not occur to her to weigh
the question of militant suffrage in the same scales her own mother had
used...
Marriage had given her the right to an independent judgment, she
thought--the full authority of the woman.
She did not see that life had changed. That the youth of to-day
asserted their claim to a freedom of thought unknown in her time,
upheld by a sounder education.
She hated in secret the very word. It had been sufficient in her day
for a girl to possess a smattering of surface knowledge from
old-fashioned primers. A little French, history, grammar, needlework
and "good manners": of music enough to produce "pieces" when required
for home consumption. But no training for the brain--little logic or
reasoning power--the arts neglected for fear they should bring an
alarming hint of Bohemianism. And "what mother says is right." This
was an axiom, weighty, approved; stifling all further argument, the
Alpha and Omega of the question.
Jill's intensely modern attitude, fostered by her college life, her
alarming tendency to revoke old standards of convention--even her
religious doubts, honestly faced, shocked her mother and threatened her
authority. She mourned in secret over her child.
Stephen, now--her face relaxed--was always attentive, glad to learn ...
With a charming courtesy he bent to her will, respecting her every
opinion.
With her delicate purity of intention it never occurred to her to see
that the fact of sex was involved here, Nature at work in her hidden
ways.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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