Several days, perhaps a week, passed in much the same outward manner.
But Sylviana, with her now practiced eye, began to observe a subtle
change in him, and this troubled her. Always now when his attention was
not required for some physical task, his eyes and mind seemed to rove
about him, as if expecting the walls to come suddenly to life and undo
him. She began to fear that despite all her caution she had given him
too much to think about, too many questions to grapple with. And she
wondered what hidden Pandora's box she had opened inside him.
Her concern was well justified, and her guesses not far from the truth.
Two things had occurred simultaneously which had made him very
uneasy. And in his mind, once more isolated, they seemed indelibly
linked, a kind of hard message from the nameless God, which he must
unravel and accept.
The first thing that troubled him was the rebound of harsh winter
weather. For a time the days had turned relatively mild, and he had
secretly hoped that the worst was passed. But his optimism was
premature. The Cold World was a long way from spent.
The second occurrence, inevitable though it might have been, was the
discovery, real or imagined, of a spiritual world to parallel the
physical. Always before the wind had been simply wind, the sun, sun,
and his environment, with its natural currents and disturbances, just
and only that. If forced to give a name to these patterns and fluxes of
life and death, he would merely have said Nature', or the
ways of the Valley'.
But with the introduction of religion into his thoughts and
observations, came its often inseparable counterpart: superstition. Was
there an intelligence behind the winds and storms around him, the
dangers and trials of his world? For if so, clearly they bore him no
good intention, and possibly considerable malice. Why now, when he was
hurting and most needed mild weather, was he confronted by the harshest
Winter he had ever experienced?
But this was just the tip of the iceberg. If there truly was a God,
then why the innumerable and inexplicable tragedies of his life, both
great and small? And most poignant of all to him: WHY WAS SHAMA DEAD?
All the other deaths and injuries he had known could perhaps, with an
effort, be rationalized. But why a mere child, healthy and intelligent,
with his whole life ahead of him?
He did not forget the other miracles of his life: the fact that he had
been born at all, that he had survived the many pitfalls of his
existence, and come against considerable odds to find the woman-child,
whom he loved. He remembered the Voice, but could not make its words
correspond to those of the Bible.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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