Thus John Tatham surrendered at discretion. What could he do more? A
man cannot be played upon like an instrument without giving out sounds
of which he will, perhaps, be ashamed. And this woman appealing to
him--this girl--looking like the little Elinor he remembered, younger
and softer in her weakness and trouble than she had been in her beauty
and pride--was the creature after all, though she would never know it,
whom he loved best in the world. He had wanted to save her, in the
one worldly way of saving her, from open shipwreck, for her own sake,
against every prejudice and prepossession of his mind. But if she would
not have that, why it was his business to save her as she wished, to do
for her whatever she wanted; to act as her agent, her champion, whatever
she pleased.
He was sent away presently, and accepted his dismissal with thankfulness,
to smoke his cigar. This is one amusing thing in a feminine household. A
man is supposed to want all manner of little indulgences and not to be
able to do without them. He is carefully left alone over "his wine"--the
aforesaid glass of claret; and ways and means are provided for him to
smoke his cigar, whether he wishes it or not. He had often laughed at
these regulations of his careful relatives, but he was rather glad of
them to-night. "I am going to get Elinor to bed," said Mrs. Dennistoun.
"It has, perhaps, been a little too much for her: but when you have
finished your cigar, John, if you will come back to the drawing-room for
a few minutes you will find me here."
John did not smoke any cigar. It is all very well to be soothed and
consoled by tobacco in your own room, at your own ease: but when you are
put into a lady's dining-room, where everything is nice, and where the
curtains will probably smell of smoke next morning: and when your mind
is exercised beyond even the power of the body to keep still, that is
not a time to enjoy such calm and composing delights. But he walked
about the room in which he was shut up like a wild beast in his cage,
sometimes with long strides from wall to wall, sometimes going round,
with that abstract trick of his, staring at the pictures, as if he did
not know every picture in the place by heart. He forgot that he was to
go back to the drawing-room again after Elinor had been taken to bed,
and it was only after having waited for him a long time that Mrs.
Dennistoun came, almost timidly, knocking at her own dining-room door,
afraid to disturb her visitor in the evening rites which she believed in
so devoutly. She did go in, however, and they stood together over the
fire for a few minutes, he staring down upon the glow at his feet, she
contemplating fitfully, unconsciously, her own pale face and his in the
dim mirror on the mantelpiece. They talked in low tones about Elinor and
her health, and her determination which nothing would change.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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