The young fir-tree creaked and swayed in Elinor's grip. She unloosed it
as if the slim thing had cried under the pressure, and sat down again.
She had nothing to grasp at, nothing. Oh, her life had not been without
support! Her mother--how extraordinary had been her good fortune to have
her mother to fall back upon when she was shipwrecked in her life--to
have a home, a shelter, a perpetual protector and champion, who, whether
she approved or disapproved, would forsake her never. And then the boy,
God bless him! who might quiver like the little fir if she flung herself
upon him, but who, she knew, would stand as true. Oh, God forbid, God
forbid that he should ever know! Oh, God help her, God help her! how was
she to keep it from his knowledge? Elinor flung herself down upon the
mossy knoll in her despair as this came pouring into her mind a flood of
horrible light, of unimaginable bitterness. He must not know, he must
not know; and yet how was it to be kept from his knowledge? It was a
public thing; it could not be hid. It would be in all the papers, his
father's name: and the boy did not know he had a father living. And his
mother's evidence on behalf of her husband; and the boy thought she had
no husband.
This was what had been said to her again and again and again. Sometime
the boy must know--and she had pushed it from her angrily, indignantly
asking why should he know? though in the bottom of her own heart she too
was aware that it was the delusion of a fool, and that the time must
come---- But how could she ever have thought that it would come like
this, that the boy would discover his father through the summons of his
mother to a public court to defend her husband from a criminal
accusation? Oh, life that pardons nothing! Oh, severe, unchanging
heaven!--that this should be the way!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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