Mr. Stanfield took off his hat with anxious politeness, and exclaimed
hastily that he must go back to town by the next train, and that the cab
from the station was waiting to take him. And then she left them, and
walked quietly away. She was almost out of hearing before they resumed
their conversation; that is, she was beyond the sound, not of their
voices, but of what they said. The murmur of the voices was still
audible when she got to her favourite seat on the side of the copse
looking down the combe. It was a very retired and silent place, not
visible from either the cottage or the garden. And there Elinor took
refuge in the quiet and hush of the declining day. She was in a great
tremor of agitation and excitement as she sat down upon the rustic
seat--so great a tremor that she had scarcely been able to walk steadily
down the roughly-made steps--a tremor which had grown with every step
she took. She did not in the least understand the transaction in which
she had been engaged. It was something altogether strange to her
experiences, without any precedent in her life. What was it she had been
called upon to do? What had she said, and why had she been made to say
it? Her heart beat so that she put her two hands upon it crossed over
her breast to keep it down, lest it should burst away. She had the
sensation of having been brought before some tribunal, put suddenly
to the last shift, made to say--what, what? She was so bewildered
that she could not tell. Was it the truth, said with the intention to
deceive--was it----? She could not tell. There was that great numeral
wavering in the air, stalking along with her like a ghost. 6--. She had
read it in all innocence, they had all read it, and nobody had said it
was wrong. No one was very careful about the date in the cottage. If it
was right, if it was wrong, Elinor could not tell. But yet somehow she
was conscious that the man to whom she had spoken had been deceived.
And Phil! and Phil! what had he meant, adjuring her to stick to him, to
stand by him, not to contradict him? Elinor's mind was in such a wild
commotion that she could not answer these inquiries. She could not feel
that she had one solid step of ground to place herself upon in the
whirlwind which swept her about and about. Had she--lied? And why had he
asked her to lie? And what, oh, what did it all mean?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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