And then there came into Elinor’s mind wild thoughts of flight. She was
not a woman whose nature it was to endure. When things became
intolerable to her she fled from them, as the reader knows; escaped,
shutting her ears to all advice and her heart to all thoughts except
that life had become intolerable, and that she could bear it no longer.
It is not easy to hold the balance even in such matters. Had Elinor
fulfilled what would appear to many her first duty, and stood by Phil
through neglect, ill-treatment, and misery, as she had vowed, for
better, for worse, she would by this time have been not only a wretched
but a deteriorated woman, and her son most probably would have been
injured both in his moral and intellectual being. What she had done was
not the abstract duty of her marriage vow, but it had been better--had
it not been better for them both? In such a question who is to be the
judge? And now again there came surging up into Elinor’s veins the
impulse of flight. To take the boy and fly. She could take him where he
wished most to go, to the scenes of that literature and history of which
his schoolboy head was full, to the happiest ideal wandering, his mother
and he, two companions almost better than lovers. How his eyes would
brighten at the thought! among the summer seas, the golden islands, the
ideal countries--away from all the trouble and cares, all the burdens of
the past, all the fears of the future! Why should she be held by that
villainous paper and obey that dreadful summons? Why allow all her
precautions, all the fabric of her life to fall in a moment? Why pour
upon the boy the horror of that revelation, when everything she had
done and planned all his life had been to keep it from him? In the
sudden energy of that new possibility of escape Elinor rose up again
from the prostration of despair. She saw once more the line of shining
water at her feet full of heavenly splendour, the mountain tops sunning
themselves in the morning light, the peace and the beauty that was over
all. And there was nothing needed but a long journey, which would be
delightful, full of pleasure and refreshment, to secure her peace to
her, and to save her boy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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