One thing that at last appeared to her in the chaos which seemed like
something solid that she could grasp at was that Phil had never changed
in his aspect. The other man had been very serious, staring at her as if
to intimidate her, like a man who had something to find out; but Phil
had been as careless, as indifferent, as he appeared always to be. He
had not changed his expression. It is true there was that look in which
there was at once an entreaty and a command--but only she had seen that,
and perhaps it was merely the emotion, the excitement, the strange
feeling of having to face the world for him, and say---- what, what? Was
it simply the truth, nothing but the truth, or was it---- Again Elinor’s
mind began to whirl. It was the truth: she could see now that big 6 on
the calendar distinct as the sunshine. And yet it was only
yesterday--and there was 8 this morning. Had she gone through an
intervening dream for a whole day without knowing it; or had she,
Elinor--she who would not have done it to save her life--told--a lie for
Phil? And why should he want her to tell a lie?
Elinor got up from her seat, and stood uncertain, with a cold dew on her
forehead, and her hands clasping and holding each other. Should she go
back to them and say there must be some mistake--that though she had
said the truth it was not true, that there was some mistake, some
dreadful mistake! There was no longer any sound of voices where she was.
The whole incident seemed to have died out. The sudden commotion of
Phil’s visit and everything connected with it had passed away. She was
alone in the afternoon, in the hush of nature, looking over the combe,
listening to the rustle of the trees, hearing the bees drone homeward.
Had Phil ever been here at all? Had he watched the distant road winding
over the slopes for some one whom he had expected to come after him all
the time? Had he ever told her to stand by him? to say what he said, to
back him up? Had there ever been another man standing with that big 6
wavering between her and him like a ghost? Had all that been at all, or
was it merely a foolish dream? And ought she to go back now, and find
the man before he disappeared, and tell him it was all true, yet somehow
a dreadful, dreadful mistake?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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