London (England) -- Fiction; Married people -- Fiction; Politicians -- Fiction
Luckily, no difficulty there! The lad was almost as devoted to
him--Ashe--as he was to Kitty. He was absurd, affected, vain; but there
was no vice in him, and a word of remonstrance would probably reduce him
to abject regret and self-reproach. Ashe intended that his mother should
speak it, and as he made up his mind to ask her help, he felt for the
second time the sharp humiliation of the husband who cannot secure his
own domestic peace, but must depend on the aid of others. Yet how could
he himself go to young Helston? Some men no doubt could have handled
such an incident with dignity. Ashe, with his critical sense for ever
playing on himself and others; with the touch of moral shirking that
belonged to his inmost nature; and, above all, with his half-humorous,
half-bitter consciousness that whoever else might be a hero, he was
none: Ashe, at least, could and would do nothing of the sort. That he
should begin now to play the tyrannous or jealous husband would make him
ridiculous both in his own eyes and other people's.
And yet Kitty must somehow be protected from herself!... Then--as to
politics? Once, in talking with his mother, he had said to her that he
was Kitty's husband first, and a public man afterwards. Was he prepared
now to make the statement with the same simplicity, the same
whole-heartedness?
Involuntarily he moved closer to the bed and looked down on Kitty.
Little, delicate face!--always with something mournful and fretful in
repose.
He loved her surely as much as ever--ah! yes, he loved her. His whole
nature yearned over her, as the wife of his youth, the mother of his
poor boy. Yet, as he remembered the mood in which he had proposed to
her, that defiance of the world and life which had possessed him when he
had made her marry him, he felt himself--almost with bitterness--another
and a meaner man. No!--he was _not_ prepared to lose the world for
her--the world of high influence and ambition upon which he had now
entered as a conqueror. She _must_ so control herself that she did not
ruin all his hopes--which, after all, were hers--and the work he might
do for his country.
What incredible perversity and caprice she had shown towards Lord
Parham! How was he to deal with it--he, William Ashe, with his ironic
temper and his easy standards? What could he say to her but "Love me,
Kitty!--love yourself!--and don't be a little fool! Life might be so
amusing if you would only bridle your fancies and play the game!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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