“Wait!” she exclaimed. “Wait! You believe you have acted wrongly, and
you are desperately afraid of acting wrongly again. But is it really
truer, more loyal for us to work out a long probation in grooves that
are already overfilled than to marry quietly abroad and fill the places
that have need of us? That is the question I want you to answer. Is it
really truer and nobler? Oh, I see the doubt that is in your mind! You
think it finer to go away and make a new life than to live the life that
is waiting you--because one is independent and the other means the use
of another man's name and another man's money--that is the thought in
your mind. But what is it that prompts that thought?” Again her voice
caught, but her eyes did not falter. “I will tell you. It is not
self-sacrifice--but pride!” She said the word fearlessly.
A flush crossed Loder's face. “A man requires pride,” he said in a low
voice.
“Yes, at the right time. But is this the right time? Is it ever right
to throw away the substance for the shadow? You say that I don't
understand--don't realize. I realize more to-night than I have realized
in all my life. I know that you have an opportunity that can never come
again--and that it's terribly possible to let it slip--”
She paused. Loder, his hands resting on the closed doors of the cab, sat
very silent, with averted eyes and bent head.
“Only to-night,” she went on, “you told me that everything was crying
to you to take the easy, pleasant way. Then it was strong to turn aside;
but now it is not strong. It is far nobler to fill an empty niche than
to carve one for yourself. John--” She suddenly leaned forward, laying
her hands over his. “Mr. Fraide told me to-night that in his new
ministry my--my husband was to be Under Secretary for Foreign Affairs!”
The words fell softly. So softly that to ears less comprehending than
Loder's their significance might have been lost--as his rigid attitude
and unresponsive manner might have conveyed lack of understanding to any
eyes less observant than Eve's.
For a long space there was no word spoken. At last, with a very gentle
pressure, her fingers tightened over his hands.
“John--” she began, gently. But the word died away. She drew back into
her seat, as the cab stopped before Chilcote's house.
Simultaneously as they descended, the hall door was opened and a flood
of warm light poured out reassuringly into the darkness.
“I thought it was your cab, sir,” Crapham explained deferentially as
they passed into the hall. “Mr. Fraide has been waiting to see you this
half-hour. I showed him into the study.” He closed the door; softly and
retired.
Then, in the warm light, amid the gravely dignified surroundings that
had marked his first entry into this hazardous second existence, Eve
turned to Loder for the verdict upon which the future hung.
As she turned, his face was still hidden from her, and his attitude
betrayed nothing.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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