The Matador of the Five Towns and Other StoriesBennett, Arnold
General
The Matador of the Five Towns and Other Stories
Bennett, Arnold
City and town life -- Fiction; Short stories, English; Staffordshire (England) -- Fiction
Mr Gale hesitated an instant, and then his eye glistened with response
to the challenge, and he replied:
"I bet you I can."
"Well, try," said Mr Sandbach.
Mr Sandbach and Mr Gale frequently threw down the glove to each other in
this agreeable way. Either they asked conundrums, or they set test
questions, or they suggested feats. When Mr Sandbach discovered at a
Christmas party that you cannot stand with your left side close against
a wall and then lift your right leg, his first impulse was to confront
Mr Gale with the trick. When Mr Gale read in a facetious paper an
article on the lack of accurate observation in the average man,
entitled, "Do 'bus horses wear blinkers?" his opening remark to Mr
Sandbach at their next meeting was: "I say, Sandbach, do 'bus horses
wear blinkers? Answer quick!" And a phrase constantly in their mouths
was, "I'll try that on Gale;" or, "I wonder whether Sandbach knows
that?" All that was required to make their relations artistically
complete was an official referee for counting the scores. Such a basis
of friendship may seem bizarre, but it is by no means uncommon in the
Five Towns, and perhaps elsewhere.
So that when Mr Sandbach defied Mr Gale to induce the shabby man to
move from where he stood, the nostrils of the combatants twitched with
the scent of battle.
Mr Gale conceived his tactics instantly and put them into execution. He
walked along the platform some little distance, then turned, and taking
a handful of silver from his pocket, began to count it. He passed slowly
by the shabby man, almost brushing his shoulder; and, just as he passed,
he left fall half-a-crown. The half-crown rolled round in a circle and
lay down within a yard and a half of the shabby man. The shabby man
calmly glanced at the half-crown and then at Mr Gale, who, strolling on,
magnificently pretended to be unaware of his loss; and then the shabby
man resumed his dreamy stare into the distance.
"Hi!" cried Mr Sandbach after Mr Gale. "You've dropped something."
It was a great triumph for Mr Sandbach.
"I told you you wouldn't get him to move!" said Mr Sandbach, proudly,
having rejoined his friend at another part of the platform.
"What's the game?" demanded Mr Gale, frankly acknowledging by tone and
gesture that he was defeated.
"Perfectly simple," answered Mr Sandbach, condescendingly, "when you
know. I'll tell you--it's really very funny. Just as everyone was
rushing to get into the London express I heard a coin drop on the
platform, and I saw it rolling. It was half-a-sovereign. I couldn't be
sure who dropped it, but I think it was a lady. Anyhow, no one claimed
it. I was just going to pick it up when that chap came by. He saw it,
and he put his foot on it as quick as lightning, and stood still. He
didn't notice that I was after it too. So I drew back. I thought I'd
wait and see what happens."
"He looks as if he could do with half-a-sovereign," said Mr Gale.
"Yes; he's only a station loafer."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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