Mr. Basket ran his pen through the word. "The fact is," he
explained, "I've only written out a thing of this sort once before in
my life; and that was when Mrs. Basket missed a black-and-tan
terrier. H'm, let me see. . . . Between the hours of 7 and 11 p.m.,
Solomon Hymen, Esquire, and Justice of the Peace, Major of the Troy
Volunteer Artillery. The missing gentleman was of imposing
exterior--"
"Height five feet, three inches," said the Doctor.
"Eh? Are you sure?"
"As medical officer of the Troy Artillery, I keep account of every
man in the corps; height, chest measurement, waist measurement, any
peculiarity of structure, any mole, cicatrix, birth-mark and so on.
I began to take these notes at the Major's own instance, for purposes
of identification on the field of battle. Little did I dream, as I
passed the tape around my admired friend, that _his_ proportions
would ever be the subject of this melancholy curiosity!"
"It reminds me," said Mr. Basket, "of a group in my garden entitled
_Finding the body of Harold_. Five feet three, you say? I had
better scratch out 'imposing exterior'; or, stay!--we'll alter it to
'carriage.'"
"Chest, thirty-six inches; waist, forty-three inches; complexion--
does that come next?" Doctor Hansombody appealed to the Chief
Constable, who nodded.
"Complexion, features, colour of hair, of eyes . . . any order you
please."
"We must leave out all allusion to his hair, I think," said Mr.
Basket; "and, by the way, I suppose the--er--authorities will desire
to take possession of any other little odds-and-ends our friend left
behind him? Complexion, clear and sanguine; strongly marked
features. His eye, sir, was like Mars, to threaten and command; but
I forget the precise colour at this moment. We might, perhaps,
content ourselves with 'piercing.' If I allow myself to be betrayed
into a description of his moral qualities--"
"Unnecessary," put in the Chief Constable.
"And yet, sir, it was by his moral qualities that my friend ever
impressed himself most distinctly on all who met him. Alas! that I
should be speaking of him in the past tense! He was a man, sir, as
Shakespeare puts it:
"Take him for all in all,
We shall not look upon his like again."
"A most happy description, Mr. Basket," the Doctor agreed.
"Would you mind saying it over again, that I may commit it to
memory?"
Mr. Basket obligingly repeated it.
"Most happy! Shakespeare, you say? Thank you." The Doctor copied
it into his pocket-book among the prescriptions.
"One might add, perhaps," Mr. Basket submitted respectfully, "that a
mere physical description, however animated, cannot do justice to my
friend's moral grandeur, which, indeed, would require the brush of a
Michael Angelo."
The Chief Constable inquired what reward they proposed to offer.
"Ah, yes; to be sure!" Taken somewhat unexpectedly, Mr. Basket and
the Doctor exchanged glances.
"On behalf of the relatives, now--" began Mr. Basket.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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