The Memoirs of a Failure: with an Account of the Man and His ManuscriptKittredge, Daniel Wright
Science
The Memoirs of a Failure: with an Account of the Man and His Manuscript
Kittredge, Daniel Wright
Failure (Psychology) -- Fiction; Harvard University -- Fiction; University of Virginia -- Fiction
Yet I feel even in these few fragments of his the presence of an
earnest and attaching sensibility. They show us Dunlevy struggling
with a life-long secret, whose nature it is as difficult to read as
its influence upon the whole trend of his temperament it is impossible
to deny. Way back at the time when he wrote me his letter, in which
he confessed a weakness for drink, one can see what a despairing
glance he casts upon his life. Whatever this youthful secret was, we
can only conjecture. He never tells us. He never so far forgot his
private dignity and his instincts as a gentleman as to publish the
reason why he did not marry. Here, the reader, if he has the desire,
must go the rest of the way himself. I have referred to it now for
the last time, because by so doing it becomes easier to speak of his
manuscript. “The physiology and hygiene of a writer have become one of
the indispensable chapters in any analysis that is made of his talent.”
So says Sainte-Beuve. The result was that this effort to conceal his
trouble and yet speak openly of himself gives all of his papers their
personal note. That is why he has to walk on that delicate line between
the real and the supernatural, maintaining his balance and always
seeming to know where he is. That is why at times he sounds as though a
Theosophist were talking to his Mahatma. Hence the styles, the moods,
the visions, of this sane or insane man.
That Dunlevy spent much of his time in idleness and apparent emptiness
of mind can not be denied. He was indolent. He tells us so. He was born
under the Southern sun at a period when indolence had recently been
aristocratic and at a premium. This very inability to adapt himself to
energetic work, constitutional though it was, seemed to haunt him with
the idea that he was indeed a useless being. To call his little volume
of scattered sheets literally the memoirs of a failure was no misnomer.
And he knew it.
To be born indolent and to have also a delicate conscience is an
unhappy birth even for normally healthy mortals who have a cheery
home. But in addition to his physical inertia, to be at the mercy of
an irritable temperament, and to be a wandering recluse, was enough to
make Dunlevy go under. And I fear that he did so.
I imagine that Dunlevy kept going from one disappointment to another,
trying to repair past errors by some new effort. He must often have
asked: How is it that with intelligence and so much remorse, you are
still so little master of yourself? “The sore of his whole life is
there--unbelief and desire.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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