At that time a mere nothing affected me. I hastily pulled the check-string and requested my servant to inquire of the coachman if that was really the equipage of His Grace. He was answered in the affirmative. I am ashamed to confess how much and how long this circumstance affected me. It was painful to my heart to acknowledge a sister so unnatural, and it caused another relapse. Amy heard the occasion of it and, sporting fine feelings, one fine morning after having by my kind recommendation lived with Argyle more than a month and become pregnant by him, she came suddenly into my room and, observing my deathlike aspect, began to blubber downright. Hypocrisy was very disgusting to me. I had, in full, warm, sisterly confidence introduced her to the duke and praised her to him, till I changed his disgust into something like partiality: dressed her up in my own elegant clothes, because hers were always as shabby as they were showy, in the style of her black-pudding dinners and champagne suppers: and she intruded herself into my house, warm from the embraces of my lover, to show off tenderness! I experienced a sudden fit of rage almost amounting to madness. "You disgusting, deceitful creature!" I exclaimed, locking her in my room and taking out the key, "since you have forced your company on me you shall repent it." I then looked round for some instrument to execute vengeance! Readers, can you conceive anything half so monstrous, half so ruinous to black-pudding men, so destructive to the rising generation? I was just thinking about killing her! Amy opened the window, and called out to a boy in the street, that a wicked woman who was no better than she should be had locked her in. "I shouldn't wonder," answered the boy, laughing and running away, "a pair of you, no doubt!" I, by this time, was heartily ashamed of having been thus surprised into temporary madness, owing to the extreme irritability of my nerves. "Go out of the house," said I, "for God's sake; there is something too indelicate and disgusting in your pity. You are very welcome to live with Argyle, if you can endure the idea. I certainly felt the loss of a friend, in my present low nervous state; but His Grace knows well that I have been in love with another for the last three years, one on whom your soft circular effusions made not the slightest impression, unless of disgust." I hastened out of the room and locked myself in my bed-chamber. Amy's visit, I afterwards found, was in consequence of the anxiety Argyle had expressed concerning my health, and Amy guessed that she must show off sisterly affection, or Argyle would dislike her! The next day Argyle visited me. He was very melancholy, and had scarcely shaved since Lady W----'s death, which had lately taken place. He reminded me that, when he dearly loved me, I never _gênée'd_ myself or him; that he was now unhappy and could have devoted himself to me; but that he saw no hopes of a steady return.