Sophy declared herself innocent, which was indeed the fact as far as regarded Colonel Berkeley. "I cannot bear it," continued Deerhurst, rushing out of the room, like the strolling representative of a tragic king in a barn, and, seating himself on the stairs, near the street-door, to sob and blubber more at his ease. Colonel Berkeley looked at his lordship in utter astonishment, exclaiming, "My good fellow, what the devil is the matter?" "Why! did you not--" he paused. "Did he not what?" I asked. "Oh, Lord! oh, dear!" roared out Deerhurst. "Don't take on so, my lord," interposed Sophia's fat landlady, offering his lordship a glass of water. Deerhurst accepted it with apparent gratitude, as though quite subdued. "Could you have believed it, madam?" said he. "Did you believe that young creature was so depraved?" "What do you mean by depraved?" I asked. "Why I can answer for it, Sophia has never given Colonel Berkeley the slightest encouragement, and beyond a mere yes or no she never opens her lips to him." "Oh! don't tell me! don't tell me!" still blubbered his lordship, the big tears rolling down his cheeks. "This is incredibly astonishing!" ejaculated Colonel Berkeley, in a very natural tone of surprise. "What is incredibly astonishing?" I asked. "I am determined to understand this. In fact, I think I have guessed already. Lord Deerhurst, by the restoration of his annuity, will put two hundred pounds a year into his pocket on Sophia's first act of infidelity. You are his friend, and have done nothing but express your astonishment at his lordship's tears and apparent jealousy ever since he came blubbering into the room; therefore, since his arrival so quickly succeeded yours, I will lay my life you two desperate _mauvais sujets_ came here together!" "Nonsense!" replied Colonel Berkeley, laughing. "I am now sure of it," added I. Colonel Berkeley slily nodded assent to my remark. Deerhurst was smelling a bottle of hartshorn, which Sophia's landlady held fast to the end of his nose. Berkeley addressed Sophia in a whisper. Deerhurst jumped up like a madman, and was leaving the room. "My good fellow," said the colonel, taking Lord Deerhurst by the arm, for this excellent acting had really deceived even Berkeley himself, whom his lordship had brought to Sophia's door in his own carriage for the express purpose of taking her off his hands, "if you really are annoyed at my visit, if you have changed your mind--only say so, and I give you my word I will not call on Sophia again. Be a man! don't make this noise and bellowing; but tell me frankly what you wish. You and I are old friends." Deerhurst said that his feelings were wounded and his heartstrings cracked; therefore he must go home and get them mended: and he darted out of the house. "What the deuce can all this mean?" said Berkeley. "The man really is unhappy. I must go after him." "Take me with you," I said, "just to gratify my curiosity."