The Memoirs of Mr. Charles J. YellowplushThackeray, William Makepeace
General
The Memoirs of Mr. Charles J. Yellowplush
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Didactic fiction; England -- Fiction; Household employees -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Master and servant -- Fiction
“You see how that woman hates you, Deuceace,” says my lord, one day, in
a fit of cander, after they had been talking about Lady Griffin: “SHE
HAS NOT DONE WITH YOU YET, I tell you fairly.”
“Curse her,” says master, in a fury, lifting up his maim'd arm--“curse
her! but I will be even with her one day. I am sure of Matilda: I took
care to put that beyond the reach of a failure. The girl must marry me,
for her own sake.”
“FOR HER OWN SAKE! O ho! Good, good!” My lord lifted his i's, and said
gravely, “I understand, my dear boy: it is an excellent plan.”
“Well,” says master, grinning fearcely and knowingly at his exlent old
father, “as the girl is safe, what harm can I fear from the fiend of a
step-mother?”
My lord only gev a long whizzle, and, soon after, taking up his hat,
walked off. I saw him sawnter down the Plas Vandome, and go in quite
calmly to the old door of Lady Griffinses hotel. Bless his old face!
such a puffickly good-natured, kind-hearted, merry, selfish old
scoundrel, I never shall see again.
His lordship was quite right in saying to master that “Lady Griffin
hadn't done with him.” No moar she had. But she never would have thought
of the nex game she was going to play, IF SOMEBODY HADN'T PUT HER UP TO
IT. Who did? If you red the above passidge, and saw how a venrabble old
genlmn took his hat, and sauntered down the Plas Vandome (looking hard
and kind at all the nussary-maids--buns they call them in France--in
the way), I leave you to guess who was the author of the nex scheam: a
woman, suttnly, never would have pitcht on it.
In the fuss payper which I wrote concerning Mr. Deuceace's adventers,
and his kind behayvior to Messrs. Dawkins and Blewitt, I had the honor
of laying before the public a skidewl of my master's detts, in witch was
the following itim:
“Bills of xchange and I.O.U.'s, 4963L. 0s. 0d.”
The I.O.U.se were trifling, say a thowsnd pound. The bills amountid to
four thowsnd moar.
Now, the lor is in France, that if a genlmn gives these in England, and
a French genlmn gits them in any way, he can pursew the Englishman who
has drawn them, even though he should be in France. Master did not know
this fact--laboring under a very common mistak, that, when onst out of
England, he might wissle at all the debts he left behind him.
My Lady Griffin sent over to her slissators in London, who made
arrangemints with the persons who possest the fine collection of
ortografs on stampt paper which master had left behind him; and they
were glad enuff to take any oppertunity of getting back their money.
One fine morning, as I was looking about in the court-yard of our
hotel, talking to the servant-gals, as was my reglar custom, in order to
improve myself in the French languidge, one of them comes up to me and
says, “Tenez, Monsieur Charles, down below in the office there is
a bailiff, with a couple of gendarmes, who is asking for your
master--a-t-il des dettes par hasard?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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