The Memoirs of Mr. Charles J. YellowplushThackeray, William Makepeace
General
The Memoirs of Mr. Charles J. Yellowplush
Thackeray, William Makepeace
Didactic fiction; England -- Fiction; Household employees -- Fiction; Humorous stories; Master and servant -- Fiction
“Lady O---, poor Lady O---! knows the rules of prudence, I fear me, as
imperfectly as she doth those of the Greek and Latin Grammars: or she
hath let her brother, who is a sad swine, become master of her secrets,
and then contrived to quarrel with him. You would see the outline of the
melange in the newspapers; but not the report that Mr. S--- is about to
publish a pamphlet, as an addition to the Harleian Tracts, setting forth
the amatory adventures of his sister. We shall break our necks in haste
to buy it, of course crying 'Shameful' all the while; and it is said
that Lady O--- is to be cut, which I cannot entirely believe. Let her
tell two or three old women about town that they are young and handsome,
and give some well-timed parties, and she may still keep the society
which she hath been used to. The times are not so hard as they once
were, when a woman could not construe Magna Charta with anything like
impunity. People were full as gallant many years ago. But the days are
gone by wherein my lord-protector of the commonwealth of England was
wont to go a lovemaking to Mrs. Fleetwood, with the Bible under his arm.
“And so Miss Jacky Gordon is really clothed with a husband at last, and
Miss Laura Manners left without a mate! She and Lord Stair should marry
and have children in mere revenge. As to Miss Gordon, she's a Venus well
suited for such a Vulcan,--whom nothing but money and a title could
have rendered tolerable, even to a kitchen wench. It is said that the
matrimonial correspondence between this couple is to be published, full
of sad scandalous relations, of which you may be sure scarcely a word
is true. In former times, the Duchess of St. A---s made use of these
elegant epistles in order to intimidate Lady Johnstone: but that ruse
would not avail; so in spite, they are to be printed. What a cargo
of amiable creatures! Yet will some people scarcely believe in the
existence of Pandemonium.
“Tuesday Morning.--You are perfectly right respecting the hot rooms
here, which we all cry out against, and all find very comfortable--much
more so than the cold sands and bleak neighborhood of the sea; which
looks vastly well in one of Vander Velde's pictures hung upon crimson
damask, but hideous and shocking in reality. H--- and his 'elle'
(talking of parties) were last night at Cholmondeley House, but seem
not to ripen in their love. He is certainly good-humored, and I believe,
good-hearted, so deserves a good wife; but his cara seems a genuine
London miss made up of many affectations. Will she form a comfortable
helpmate? For me, I like not her origin, and deem many strange things to
run in blood, besides madness and the Hanoverian evil.
“Thursday.--I verily do believe that I shall never get to the end of
this small sheet of paper, so many unheard of interruptions have I had;
and now I have been to Vauxhall, and caught the toothache. I was of Lady
E. B---m and H---'s party: very dull--the Lady giving us all a supper
after our promenade--
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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