On his return to Smith Square he spent the long evening alone. He would
see nobody. He would transact no business, and the faithful Heathcote
was distressed, he even protested. But for once the usual amenability
of his friend and employer was lost amidst a jarring irritability, and
the secretary was forced to leave him to his ungracious solitude.
During that long evening alone Ruxton endured a series of mental
tortures such as only the imaginative can ever be called upon to
endure. Every conceivable aspect of the situation arose before his
mind's eye, clad in the drab of hopelessness, until it seemed there
could be no possible place for one single gleam of promise. Many of
these pictures were based upon the insidious doubts which never fail to
attack those in the throes of a consuming passion such as his.
At one moment he saw, in the disaster which had befallen him, the
duplicity of a woman whose love has no depth, whose love is the mere
superficial attraction of the moment, and which, under given
conditions, can be flung aside as a thing of no consequence, no value.
Following upon each such accusation came denial--simple, swift,
emphatic denial, as he remembered the treasured moments in the little
flat in Kensington; as he remembered the woman of the Yorkshire cliffs;
the woman whose shining eyes had revealed the mother soul within her as
she appealed for the great world of humanity with passionate denial of
self. Doubts of her could not remain behind such memories. It was like
doubting the rise of the morrow's sun.
Then, too, the simplicity of his own loyalty, apart from all reason,
denied for him. It was the simple psychology of the devoted Slav in him
battling and defeating the more acrimonious and fault-finding nature of
his insular forebears.
There was reason enough for his doubts. He knew that. The steady
balance of reason was markedly his, and once, after a feverish
struggle, he allowed himself to give it play, and sought to review the
case as might a prosecuting counsel.
The salient points of the situation were so marked that they could not
be missed. Vita had gone to Redwithy in a fever of anticipation, with
assurances of devotion to him upon her beautiful lips, to await a
message from him of her father's safety. That message is duly
dispatched. It reaches its destination. It is opened by some one and
carefully re-sealed. Vita sends no acknowledgment. Later it is
discovered that Vita has left Redwithy, almost on the moment of her
arrival at her home, since when she has not returned. Apparently her
going is voluntary.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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