‘Lieutenant-Colonel Sir John _Newcome_, ‘I’m to observe, that here are very few come ‘With such distinguished honours to their Name-- ‘So high in Glory, and so great in Fame; ‘Your active Vigour, and your gallant Feats ‘In Arms, when in Vittoria’s Streets ‘Your weapon boldly flourish’d ’mongst the Fair, ‘Joe’s Crown cut off, and every thing left bare; ‘Drove the poor King from Town, without his Hat on, ‘Seiz’d Madam Gazon, and the Marshal’s Baton. ‘The C----ns, Sir, out of their high regard ‘For deeds of Valour, grant this proud Reward ‘For your Exploits, so Great, and so Magnanimous, ‘Thro’ me present their hearty thanks unanimous.’ Albeit, unused to speaking, John arose, In first attempt determin’d not to prose; Resolv’d that no one should his sense impeach, By drawling out a long, and labour’d Speech: Then said, ‘Sir, if from great Example, ‘I in some late affairs have shewn my Sample; ‘’Tis to the Hero whose Dispatch I bring, ‘So great, so wonderful in every thing. ‘His be the praise, who Foe, and Fair disarms, ‘All yield to his Celebrity in Arms.’ Some further honours too did John await, Which caus’d with him and Dad, a small debate. ‘A Badge of Merit,[108] my dear Boy d’ye see, ‘Is a fine Ornament, ’twixt you and me; ‘’Twill look so grand, you know, hung at your button, ‘When you Reg’mentals condescend to put on.’ ‘Such Ornaments, dear Dad, I’d fain not reap, ‘Desert, and Interest no distinction keep; ‘That bane to Justice, we must all deplore, ‘Merit does much, but interest does much more.’ And now friend John more Honours did obtain, The gratitude of Portugal and Spain; Like Knights of Rodrigo, and Talavera, He got the Tower, and Sword, and Alcantara. * * * * * _N.B. It has been reported that his R----l H----s the P----e R----t has signified his acquiescence that the Arms of the =Newcome= Family be as follows: A bit of old Hat, supported by two Batons--Crest, a Cock’s Spur--Motto, ‘+I felt it+.’_ THE END FOOTNOTES [41] The thermometer of Mr. John Bull’s spirits is so delicately compounded, that the smallest variation in the political atmosphere raises, or depresses, to a point verging on Insanity.