_Vice-President._ Yes, Major, the Duke was our best friend; it was he who first raised the pay of the surgeons, and thus made the situation more worthy to be filled by men of education. Sir James M’Grigor, and Sir William Franklin, have completed what the Duke began, and now, thanks to those gentlemen, our department is not only happily organized, and its rank sustained, but we can furnish in the field, men of genuine professional education; not tyros of the pestle, but scientifically bred surgeons, who can whip off your legs while you’d be saying “Jack Robison.”--A glass of wine, Major. _Major._ With great pleasure. _Dr. Adipose._ Mr. Vice, I’ll taste that wild duck--hau--it looks well--and squeeze a lemon on it:--but first we’ll take a glass of wine--hau. _Capt. Beamish._ I’m not so long as the Major in the service, by twenty years, and even in _my_ time the military surgeons were in general inferior to what they are now, both in education and respectability. _Mr. Ward._ The peninsular war required a vast deal of surgeons, and therefore, a number of young unqualified men, of necessity were sent out to Portugal; but since that, Sir, this very Chatham hospital has been established; and it bids fair to become a school for military surgeons. _Dr. Kyle._ By-the-by, it would not be a bad thing to follow Buonaparte’s plan of educating medical men for the army. The Parliament might vote money for worse purposes than promoting the health and comfort of the soldiers in providing a military-medical school.--This I really believe. Then, in case of necessity, we should not be forced to receive indifferently educated surgeons into the service.--Chatham would be the very place for it. We have already a splendid anatomical museum, a good library, and an extensive hospital. All wanting now, is permission to receive young men as pupils or cadets, who would be supported by government until fit to join the army:--Something like the Artillery-school at Woolwich. Then the well-qualified officers of the department, who are now receiving half-pay for nothing, might have here something to do in lecturing as professors. _President._ Hoot! if ya’d apply to parelament for sic a thing, ya’d ha’ Masther Joey Hume at wark wi’ his hammer an’ tongs:--he’d cry oot “sae muckle for lodging--sae muckle for poorridge--an’ sae muckle for pooltices,” till he’d run up a bill for the hoose that wad beat the _Docthor’s Bill_ clane oot an’ oot. _Dr. Kyle._ But Sir James and Mr. Hume are both Aberdeen men, are they not? There might be something done that way. _President._ Nae, that wad do naething; Sir James has a lang heed o’ his ain, an’ if it war to be done at a’, he’d nae consult the calculator aboot it. _Dr. Adipose._ Very true, Mr. President, hau--I’ll thank you for another custard, au--just to finish this apple-pie. _President._ First we’ll take a drap o’ wine, Docthor; ya’r takin’ reed, so there’s the decanter.