The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
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The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
On the stage! Ho, ho! Oh, you-- but I mustn't call you silly boy
again, must I! And what do you know _of_ me, apart from the glimpse
you've had of me off the stage, and my being a shining light at the
Pandora? What do you know of my-- what's the word?-- origin-- where
and what I've sprung from; how I was reared; how much education I've
received; how much I've contrived to pick up of the way to behave in
_per_lite society? You can judge from poor mother, if from nothing
else, that I come from humble beginnings. Yes, but _how_ humble you
couldn't _dream_, [_making a grimace_] not after a supper of raw
carrots!
FARNCOMBE.
Do you think I _care_ how humble your beginnings were! What I do
know-- what I _am_ sure about-- is that you're good-- and beautiful--
and-- and-- and gifted-- and-- and-- [_leaning his head on his hands_]
oh, I can't describe you; you're-- you're-- to me, you're _perfect_.
LILY.
[_After a pause, looking at him with blinking eyelids._] You-- you
_dear_! [_He raises his head. She changes her tone instantly._]
_Merci_; yes, perfect, _pour le moment_. Hear my French! [_Taking the
box of cigarettes from the table._] Have a cigarette? Don't get up.
[_She tosses him a cigarette and he catches it._] My name's printed on
them-- "Lily." [_Lighting a cigarette._] Isn't it _chic_!
FARNCOMBE.
[_Producing his cigarette case and exchanging her cigarette for one of
his own._] I'll never smoke _that_.
LILY.
[_Pushing the match-stand towards him._] _Stoo_pid! Now, attend to me.
What do you say to a tiny provision shop in Kennington, over the
water?
FARNCOMBE.
Was that----?
LILY.
[_Nodding._] H'm; that was my start in the world. Father kept a small
shop in Kennington-- Gladwin Street, near the Oval. We sold groceries,
and butter and eggs and cheese, and pickled-pork and paraffin. I was
born there-- on the second floor; and in Gladwin Street I lived till I
was fourteen. Then father smashed, through the Stores cutting into our
little trade. Well, hardly smashed; that's too imposing. The business
just faded, and one morning we didn't bother to take the shutters
down. Then, after a while, father got a starvation berth-- eighteen
shillings a week!-- at a wholesale bacon warehouse-- Price and
Moseley's-- still over the water; and I earned an extra five at a
place in the Westminster Bridge Road, for pasting the gilt edges on to
passe-partouts from nine a.m. till six in the evening.
FARNCOMBE.
[_His head bowed again._] Great heavens!
LILY.
Not a syllable against the passe-partouts! They were the making of me.
It was the passe-partouts that brought me and Tedder together.
FARNCOMBE.
Who?
LILY.
Tedder. In the house where I worked, a man of the name of Tedder--
Ambrose Tedder-- taught dancing-- stage dancing-- "Tedder's Academy of
Saltatory Art"-- and every time I passed Tedder's door, and heard his
violin or piano, and the sound of the pupils' feet, I--! [_Breaking
off and throwing herself back._] Oh, lor', if once I----!
FARNCOMBE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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