The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_Faintly._] All right, Lal.
ROPER.
[_Patting her face again._] Ha, ha, ha, ha! [_With a hop._] Wurrr-roo!
Stand away from the lift; no more passengers this journey!
[_He waves to FARNCOMBE gaily and departs, closing the door. There is
a short silence and then FARNCOMBE places his hat and overcoat upon
the chair by the piano and turns to LILY._
FARNCOMBE.
[_In a low voice._] It's awfully kind and gracious of you to have
granted my request, and frightfully selfish of me to have made it.
I deserve to be kicked.
LILY.
[_Slowly advancing to the table in the centre-- avoiding his gaze._]
Is-- is Jimmie aware of precisely what's in your note?
FARNCOMBE.
Y-y-yes. [_Drawing nearer to her._] I hope you won't be angry with me
for confiding in her. You see, I-- I----
LILY.
[_At the further side of the table, fingering one of the objects upon
it._] And _she'll_ confide in Uncle Lal. [_Shrugging her shoulders._]
Oh, but dear old Lal appears to have summed up the situation pretty
accurately as it is. [_With an artificial little laugh._] Ha, ha, ha!
Well, I'm afraid they'll be horribly disappointed, poor wretches.
FARNCOMBE.
[_Blankly._] Disap-pointed?
LILY.
[_Raising her eyes to his and shaking her head at him._] You-- you
silly boy!
FARNCOMBE.
[_Coming to her quickly._] Ah, please-- please don't take that tone
with me. I'm no boy. And I'm simply mad about you. If you don't marry
me, I-- I-- I'm done for.
LILY.
H'sh! Nonsense; not you!
FARNCOMBE.
It's true. Life'll be over for me from that moment, if you refuse to
marry me.
LILY.
[_Mockingly._] Over!
FARNCOMBE.
Oh, love is all on my side at present, naturally; but, as God hears
me, it'll be no fault of mine if you don't grow to love me in time.
LILY.
Listen----!
FARNCOMBE.
I'll worship you-- worship you. I _do_ worship you!
LILY.
H'sh! Lord Farncombe----
FARNCOMBE.
_Eddie!_ Won't you?
LILY.
Certainly not.
FARNCOMBE.
Do! Eddie! Eddie!
LILY.
Eddie, then----
FARNCOMBE.
Ah----!
LILY.
Sit down a minute. [_She goes to the settee and sits there, somewhat
ruffled, and he moves to the arm-chair by the centre table and also
sits, his elbows on his knees, bending towards her. She pushes her
hair back from her brow impatiently, as if vexed with herself._] Lord
Farncombe-- Eddie-- for how long have you known me?
FARNCOMBE.
What does it matter? I-- I admit----
LILY.
Reckoning our acquaintance from last week-- from the afternoon Bertie
brought you here, when we scarcely spoke to one another-- you haven't
known me for as many days as you can count on your fingers.
FARNCOMBE.
I've watched you-- watched you in the theatre----
LILY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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