The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_The head is withdrawn and the door softly closed. After a pause,
GLADYS enters at the other door followed by JEYES and FARNCOMBE. The
men are carrying their hats and canes. GLADYS retires, closing the
door, and JEYES comes to LILY and shakes hands with her._
JEYES.
[_To LILY, gently._] How are you to-day, Lil? Very fagged?
LILY.
[_Almost inaudibly._] I _am_ a little. [_JEYES turns from her, to lay
his hat and cane upon the box-ottoman, and then FARNCOMBE, who has
hung back, advances hesitatingly to the further side of the centre
table and bows to LILY. She rises and, avoiding his eyes, gives him a
limp hand across the table._] How d'ye do? [_To JEYES who, having got
rid of his hat and cane, moves away from the ottoman._] Sit down,
won't you? [_She resumes her seat upon the settee and JEYES, with a
nod, sits in the arm-chair by the centre table. FARNCOMBE remains
standing and again she addresses him without meeting his eyes._] And
you?
[_FARNCOMBE, with another bow, sits upon the fauteuil-stool. There is
a brief silence and then JEYES speaks._
JEYES.
Lil----
LILY.
Y-yes?
JEYES.
In the first place, Farncombe wants you distinctly to understand how
it is he's committing this breach of his compact with you. [_To
FARNCOMBE._] You promised----?
FARNCOMBE.
I promised never to attempt to come near Miss Parradell again, nor
even to enter the theatre.
JEYES.
[_To LILY._] And if I'm any judge of a man, Lily, Farncombe would have
kept his promise. He'd have kept it faithfully, but for _me_. I've
brought him along-- insisted on it. [_Emphatically._] _I've brought
him along._ See?
LILY.
W-w-why, Nicko?
JEYES.
I'll tell you, my dear. You remember, when we left you early this
morning, ordering us to walk away together and to part good friends?
LILY.
P-perfectly.
JEYES.
Well, we did walk away together, and we did part good friends. But we
didn't part at all till some hours later, in his rooms. We didn't part
till I'd made him stand by me and listen to me while I had a long jaw
with my brother on the 'phone.
LILY.
[_Wonderingly._] With-- your----?
JEYES.
About that Rhodesian business.
LILY.
What Rhodesian business?
JEYES.
I mentioned it to you yesterday. Bob owns a third, with Peter Chalmers
and Tom Dalby, of a group of farms near Bulawayo, and he's been
badgering me eternally to cut this and to settle out there as their
agent. [_Simply._] And I've accepted, old girl.
LILY.
[_With a blank face._] Ac-cepted?
JEYES.
[_Grimly._] Leaving you to bring an action against me, to recover
damages for a broken heart. [_Drawing a deep breath._] Yes, I'm
chucking you, Lil. I give you formal notice of my intention; and you
can drive down to your solicitors this afternoon and instruct them to
writ me without delay. [_Forcing a laugh._] Ha, ha, ha!
LILY.
[_Faintly._] Nicko----!
JEYES.
Unless-- unless you've an idea of consoling yourself shortly with--
with another chap, and prefer not to carry the matter into Court.
LILY.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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