The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four ActsPinero, Arthur Wing
General
The 'Mind the Paint' Girl: A Comedy in Four Acts
Pinero, Arthur Wing
Comedy plays; English drama
[_Inadvertently._] She _oughtn't_ to have.
LILY.
[_Withdrawing her hand again, sharply._] She calls herself _H_upjohn,
you mean!
FARNCOMBE.
[_Distressed._] No, no, no. [_In a difficulty._] Er-- at any rate, h's
don't lead you to heaven, do they?
LILY.
[_Gloomily._] You're right; mother's lead _her_ to _'eaven_. [_Rising
and walking away._] Well, you'd better go now.
FARNCOMBE.
[_Rising._] And to-night----?
LILY.
No; I'll come home alone.
FARNCOMBE.
Lily----!
LILY.
[_Imperatively._] Please----!
FARNCOMBE.
When----?
LILY.
[_Moving to the door on the left._] Not for two or three days. Give me
time to shake down over this.
FARNCOMBE.
[_Taking up his hat and cane which he has left upon the centre
table._] Sunday?
LILY.
[_Fretfully._] No.
FARNCOMBE.
Monday?
LILY.
[_Opening the door._] No.
FARNCOMBE.
[_Joining her at the door._] Tuesday?
LILY.
[_Appealingly._] I-- I'll write. [_Again he takes her hand, she
keeping him at a distance. He attempts to lessen the distance, but she
checks him, shaking her head._] Not just yet, Eddie. [_He smiles at
her tenderly and, with a bow, departs. From the doorway, she watches
him disappear; then she shuts the door and wanders listlessly to the
door of the bedroom. Her hand lingers upon the knob for a moment, and
then she opens the door a little way and calls._] Mother! Mother----!
[_She leaves the door and is returning to the settee when MRS. UPJOHN
enters._
MRS. UPJOHN.
[_All agog._] Yes, Lil? [_LILY seats herself upon the settee without
speaking._] Yes, dearie; yes? [_Advancing to the centre table._] 'Ave
they given you your choice?
LILY.
[_Dully._] No; they've given me no choice.
MRS. UPJOHN.
[_Advancing further._] Wot----?
LILY.
Nicko's going out to South Africa, mother.
MRS. UPJOHN.
South Africa!
LILY.
Well, to Rhodesia.
MRS. UPJOHN.
Then you're free, Lil!
LILY.
No, I'm not.
MRS. UPJOHN.
Not!
LILY.
Nicko-- Nicko's handed me over, mother.
MRS. UPJOHN.
'Anded you over!
LILY.
To-- to Lord Farncombe.
MRS. UPJOHN.
[_Gasping._] An' you an' the young gentleman----!
LILY.
I-- I suppose so.
MRS. UPJOHN.
Oh--! [_Sinking into the arm chair by the centre table._] Oh, the dear
Captain!
LILY.
[_Transferring herself from the settee to MRS. UPJOHN'S lap._] Oh! Oh!
Oh! [_Putting her arms round MRS. UPJOHN'S neck._] Oh, poor Nicko!
MRS. UPJOHN.
[_Soothingly._] 'E'll 'ave 'is reward, Lil; 'e'll 'ave 'is reward
'ereafter.
LILY.
And poor Carlton Smythe! Oh, poor Carlton!
MRS. UPJOHN.
Poor Carlton----?
LILY.
He's losing every one of his best girls, mother. Gwennie Harker--
Maidie Trevail-- Eva Shafto-- and now _me_! Oh, poor Carlton!
MRS. UPJOHN.
'Ush, dearie; 'ush! Don't consider _'im_! [_Rocking LILY to and fro
like a baby._] Think-- think wot a lot o' good you're all doin' to the
aristocracy!
[_The door on the left opens and JIMMIE and ROPER look in gleefully
and then tiptoe towards LILY and MRS. UPJOHN._
THE END.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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