Isabel had no answer to make. She was stupified by his tone; and yet how
could she, loving him as she did, tell herself that he was heartless?
Her startled soul paused and stood still for a moment, and then she
said to herself that this must be the way folk thought in England, the
custom of the bigger, greater world. No doubt it was only in an
out-of-the-way corner like Loch Diarmid that there was time to dwell
upon personal grief. She dried her eyes hastily with a furtive hand, and
half-upbraided herself with self-indulgence. But she could not reply.
‘I am not very cheerful, either,’ he said. ‘I want you to comfort me,
Isabel. I have heard from home since I saw you last, and I have no
further excuse to make. I fear I shall have to go away.’
‘To go away!’ cried Isabel, feeling as if the sky had suddenly darkened,
and all comfort had gone out of the earth.
‘It is very hard upon me,’ he said, ‘just when I might have had you a
little more to myself. But I am not my own master, and the folks at home
must be obeyed.’
What could she answer? So much in need of pity, and comfort, and
soothing, as she was, so unprepared to encounter any new blow! She gave
a little gasp as for breath, leaning again upon the birch-tree. And once
more the chill tears from its long drooping branches came down upon them
like a shower. Stapylton sprung aside with a little impatience.
‘Hallo!’ he said; ‘mind what you’re about!’ And then, after a pause,
‘Well, it appears you have nothing to say!’
‘What can I say?’ said poor Isabel, shivering with agitation and pain.
‘If you must go, Mr. Stapylton, it cannot matter what I think or what I
say.’
‘I knew it would be like that,’ he cried; ‘I knew you would take it as
an offence. But, Isabel, look here; I have been dangling after you for
more than a year. You are quite willing I should hang about and wait for
you here; and perhaps you would let me come down to the cottage and see
you, for anything I can tell, now. But as that is all the satisfaction I
have ever got, or am likely to get----’
‘What satisfaction would you have?’ said Isabel, under her breath.
‘What satisfaction would I have? that is a charming question to put to
me after all that has passed between us. Just look here, Isabel; if it
had not been for your ridiculous scruples, think what a different
position I should have been in. I’d have written home a penitent letter,
saying I was very sorry, and all that, and that I was married, and all
about it. There would have been a flare-up, of course; but what could
they have done? Whereas, now, what can a fellow say? I cannot moon on
here for another six months, or another year, or perhaps more than that.
Neither my people, nor anybody’s people, would listen to it for a
moment. When I speak plainly you are affected; and yet it is all your
own fault.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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