‘Where? what does it matter where? It might be here for anything I care;
but all this ridiculous set would object, and there would be time lost,
and the news would be sent home. Come with me now--come to-morrow. What
does it matter? You have no invalid to keep you back. What! offended
again? How is a plain man to understand all your fancies? If you like to
be gloomy and cry I can’t help it, Isabel; but what is the good of
dwelling on the past? You did all you could be expected to do, and more.
Surely you may think of yourself now.’
‘It is you that does not understand,’ said Isabel, with a sudden
movement of indignation, withdrawing from him. ‘What can I say that will
make you understand?’
‘I don’t want to understand!’ he cried. ‘Come, Isabel, don’t keep me in
pain. If you’ll meet me here to-morrow I’ll arrange everything to-night.
We’ll go to Kilcranion and get the steamer there, and reach either
Glasgow or Edinburgh in the evening. Isabel! no, you shan’t go away! You
can leave a note for your stepmother. Surely, I am more to you than she
is. You will make me happy, and make everything possible. It is best to
write and tell them after it is done. We’ll go and see everything
together; and you never were out of your parish before. Isabel, it will
bring back the roses to your cheeks again.’
He held her hand, though she struggled away from him, and bent forward
gazing into her face. Isabel’s pale cheeks grew crimson with a violent
blush; all at once life and force and strength seemed to pour back into
her heart with this wild temptation which shook her to the very depth of
her being. The stream had sunk so low that this sudden tide swelled all
her veins to bursting, and brought noises to her ears, the sound of
awakening, confused hum and buzz of every pulse, of her breathing and
her heart. Escape out of this grey atmosphere into the ideal light--out
of this chill into the warmth of love--out of this stillness into
movement and music and sunshine, and all the stir of common life. But
again with equal suddenness a sense of the chill, the grey landscape,
the falling night, the heavy evening dew came back to her, quenching
out the light and stilling the sounds. She uttered a heavy sigh, she
clasped her hands together as if relinquishing all outside aid. ‘And
Margaret not three weeks in her grave!’ That was all she could find to
say.
‘What has that to do with it?’ said Stapylton, ‘you sacrificed yourself
to her when she was living--and are you to make no use of your freedom
now she is dead? _She_ can’t feel it _now_: what will it matter to her
whether you are here or with me? You are free now; go where you like, it
can’t affect her any more.’
He had taken her hand again, but she wrung it out of his almost with
violence; a dull flush came over her of nervous passion. ‘You neither
understand her nor me,’ she said, with a pang in her heart. ‘Oh, how
dare you speak--how dare you speak?’ and in her anger she stamped her
foot upon the yielding turf.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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