Thus it was that Isabel did not return to the events of the afternoon
during the whole course of the night. The emotions that had been so
strong in her seemed to have been somehow lulled to sleep. She made an
ineffectual attempt to recall them when she went to her own room, but
fatigue and sleep got the better of her. A curious sense of escape came
over her. She had expected to be rent asunder with indignation, and that
madness which devours the mind when we are wroth with those we love. A
hundred terrible questions had seemed on the eve of sweeping down upon
her like so many birds of prey to be resolved and settled in a moment.
And yet nothing of the kind had happened: instead, a soft insensibility
had crept over her mind. She was too weary for anything; and slept, like
a tired child, quieted and composed and wrapped in physical warmth and
consolation.
These were her feelings when she fell asleep. But Isabel awoke, in the
middle of the night, as she thought, in the deep darkness and stillness,
broad awake in a second, without any twilight interval between the deep
blank of repose and the tremendous struggle of existence.
She turned from side to side in her weary bed, sometimes hoping that out
of the gloom there might reveal itself a sudden figure, all blazing with
awful brightness, to show her what was needful to be done--counting the
steadfast, unbroken, terrible tickings of the clock, feeling the
darkness affect her, a thing which weighed down her eyes and oppressed
her soul. When the first shade of grey trembled into the dusk, it was to
Isabel as a messenger from Heaven. Her heart bounded up with a sense of
relief; and as the dawn grew, revealing in a mist the whitening
hill-side, and the reflections in the Loch, she found it possible to
sleep again and forget her troubles. She fell into a heavy slumber,
which still lasted when Jean came softly into the room to rouse her.
‘I dinna like thae long sleeps,’ Jean said to herself, with a sudden
pang: ‘Eh, if she should gang too, like Margret!’ and stood by the
bedside reluctant to awake her, gazing at the sleeper’s pale face, at
the unconscious knitting of her brows, and tremulous movements of her
hand. She grew more and more anxious as the morning advanced, and
Isabel, trained in the habit of early rising, never woke. The good woman
stole repeatedly to her stepdaughter’s bedside, laying her hand softly
on Isabel’s forehead, and touching the white arm which lay on the
coverlet to discover whether she was feverish. When she opened her eyes
at last, Jean was gazing at her with an anxiety which she did her best
to dissimulate as soon as she perceived that Isabel was awake.
‘I thought you were never to wake mair,’ she said, with attempted
playfulness. ‘Lazy thing! It’s ten o’clock in the day, and half the work
of the house done. But, now you’re so late, bide a wee longer, and I’ll
bring you your tea.’
‘But I am quite well,’ said Isabel, raising herself with a little start.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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