‘I am going to get up,’ she said, with two brilliant spots of colour on
her cheeks. ‘I feel as if I were in my grave here. I must get out to the
fresh air!’
Jean’s answer was to draw away the curtain from the window. Then Isabel
saw, looking out on the hill-side, the falling of the noiseless rain. It
was no white violent blast with actual colour and solidity, but the fine
impalpable dropping which penetrates through every covering, and which
the experienced West Highlander looks at with hopeless eyes. ‘To gan out
into that wet would be as much as your life is worth,’ said Jean,
solemnly. ‘The braes are nae better than a shaking moss, and the roads
are running like burns. It’s an awfu’ saft day. Ye may get up and sit by
the fire, but across the door ye’ll no go, or else you’ll quarrel with
me.’
This time it was with a kind of despair that Isabel listened. He would
never think of it--he could not expect her, nor would he go himself on
such a day. His departure would be put off, and with it the crisis, and
time would be left to think. A little time to think, even an hour more
she felt would be something gained. She had another moment of
tranquility, gazing out from where she lay through the low window, upon
the melancholy braes.
After a temporary lull, however, her fever returned. This time she rose
and dressed herself hastily, putting on, in a half-dream, not her new
‘mourning,’ with the crape on it, but a thick winter dress, black enough
to indicate any depths of sorrow. Always like a walker in a dream--that
was the only explanation she could have given of her own feelings.
Clothed for her journey, yet without any intention of taking the
journey, she wandered drearily about her sister’s room. One o’clock,
struck by the solemn eight-day clock, which gave a kind of mechanical
soul to the house, knelled upon Isabel’s ear, as she held her white
trembling hands over the fire. It shook her like a convulsion of nature.
But one hour more--and all to be decided in that hour--and her mind no
nearer the solution, scarcely so near as last night.
‘You’re looking real weakly, my dear,’ said Jean; ‘shaking like a leaf.
I’m no sure you should have risen out of your bed. Take this shawl round
you, and I’ll give you some broth to warm you. You’ve eaten nothing the
whole day.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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