‘Oh, lassie, speak the truth!’ said Jean. ‘You ken weel, and a’ the Loch
kens, that you have mair power over him than kith and kin--aye, or the
very Presbytery itself. But you’re that perverse, ye’ll listen to
nobody; and I doubt but ye’ve been unkind to him, or gibed at him, puir
man! and he has nae fault that I ken of but his years.’
‘I don’t think he is very old,’ said Isabel, half under her breath; and
she went away into the little parlour which he had decorated for her,
and sat down by the window, all alone, without even taking off her
bonnet. Never before in her life had she been conscious of having
anything so important to think about. Thinking had nothing to do with
the matter when Stapylton was concerned. It was nothing but a struggle
then between her love and grief--between the lover’s eager wishes on one
hand, and all the tender decorums of life, all the claims of the past,
on the other. She had struggled, but she had not required to think. But
now there had come such an occasion for thought as she had never before
known. The question was not one of inclination or any such urgent motive
for or against as should have settled it for her, without loss of time;
on the contrary, it was of the very nature of those questions which
demand the clearest thought. Love, as she had apprehended it once, had
floated altogether away, she told herself, out of her life. Of that
there was to be no more question, either then or for ever; but yet life
would not end because it had been thus divested of its highest beauty.
And Isabel knew she was young, and felt that she had a long existence
before her. Was she to do nothing for the comfort of that
existence--nothing to win it out of the mists and dreams? She sat down
breathless, her heart heaving with the agitation through which she had
lately passed, her nature all astir and moved by a hundred questionings.
She did not love Mr. Lothian. Love was over for her--gone out of her
life like a tale that is told; but life had to continue all the same:
and what kind of life?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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