Meanwhile Isabel, with her head swimming, had gone back to the other
sphere for which she had sighed, and found herself the object of a
thousand little regards and observations. Miss Catherine, after her
neglect, did not seem able to do enough to show her affection; and ere
long the minister, now no longer her friend and adviser, but her lover
and affianced husband, joined the party. The sight of him had the most
curious effect on Isabel; she was immediately covered, as by a shield,
from Miss Catherine’s too demonstrative satisfaction, from the
overwhelming comments of the others; but for herself her head swam more
than ever, and the solid earth seemed to have grown unsteady under her
feet. She was in a dream; not such a sweet dream as he was walking about
in, his head in the clouds; and not painful either, as one doomed and
going to the sacrifice. It was only confusion--a mist which she could
not penetrate--something which blurred all the outlines and confounded
one object with another. She kept apart, and kept silent, feeling that
if she spoke she would be incoherent, and if she moved might totter. It
was all so new. When she had time to use herself to ‘what had happened,’
things would be different; such, at least, was what she said to herself.
But things were very little different until the wedding took place,
which was a few days after the completion of the year of mourning for
her sister. During the interval she scarcely ever regained her balance.
She was as composed as usual, and took everything with outward calm; but
she did not know what she was doing. The notes of her being were jangled
out of tune--not harshly, but vaguely. The effect upon her was not to
distort, but to dim everything. The world became vague, and all that was
in it. It did not seem to her that she was to begin only a new chapter
of existence, but that a new book, mysterious and strange, lay before
her, beyond the crisis which she slowly approached. And at last the day
came; a September day, early in the month, when the heather had just
died out of bloom, and the crack of the sportsman’s gun was heard on the
hills. There was no church-going procession, no pretty stream of bridal
maidens from the Glebe to the church. The marriage took place in the
little grey parlour, with the decorations in it which the bridegroom had
put up, and with the associations that were so sacred to both. They
stood where Margaret’s sofa had stood, where she had died, and were
made man and wife. And when it was done and had become irrevocable the
bride woke up with a little cry--the mist vanished from her eyes and she
saw things clear--a cloud of interested, smiling faces around her, a man
by her side who was her husband--the new life, no longer a matter of the
future, but present, had begun.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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