And then they went in, and a change came over the heavens and the earth
to Isabel. It was not that he had changed: he was as anxious to be good
to her, to save her all annoyance, to make her happy, as ever. It was
that a note, which jarred upon the perfect happiness she had begun to
rise into, had been struck, as it were, unawares. Her husband was still
her lover, still full of fond delight in her, and eager to please her;
but a meaning she could not quite fathom, a purpose which was not made
clear to her, seemed to be under his love and his fondness--now more,
now less clearly visible from that day. He spoke a great deal of
America, pointing out all its advantages to her; and Isabel, who had no
dear friends to leave behind her, and of whom her neighbours all
disapproved, was not disinclined to think of emigration. But then there
were the discomforts of the voyage, upon which he insisted with
ever-strengthening force of words.
‘I would never hesitate if we were alone; but the child necessitates a
maid,’ he said, ‘and the maid brings other troubles in her train.’
‘But I want no maid; I can take care of my child without any help,’
cried Isabel.
‘And if you did that how much should I see of you?’ he said, with an
almost sneer. ‘No, Isabel, I don’t want to be disagreeable, but my wife
must be my wife, and not a baby’s nurse.’
‘She will soon be walking,’ said the young mother, trying with anxious
wiles to recommend her child. ‘She would soon be--a help to me, Horace,
instead of a trouble.’
‘You must consider it all well,’ he said; ‘it is not just our--your own
pleasure that you must think of; you must remember what you owe to the
child. She is too young for a long voyage, Isabel; probably she might
fall ill--and die. My dear, I don’t want to frighten you--babies so
often do.’
‘Oh, Horace, not with my care!’ cried Isabel. ‘God would protect her by
sea as well as by land. The poor women have all their little children
with them. What should happen to my darling more than to the rest?’
‘But it does happen to the half of the rest,’ he said, calmly. ‘I don’t
want to frighten you, Isabel; but afterwards, if anything were to
happen, you would blame me for not telling you. And then if she lived
and grew up she might object to be severed from all her friends and her
own country. She has her friends, I suppose--her--father’s friends.’
‘She can have no friend so near as her mother,’ said Isabel, in a voice
which was scarcely audible.
‘What do you say? Of course you are her mother, my dear; but if she were
to grow up to feel herself alone in a family, she--did not belong to,
one may say--don’t you think she would reflect upon you for taking her
from her home? My darling! I did not mean to vex you; I am only saying
what you will think yourself when you look at it calmly and see it in a
reasonable light.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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