Isabel had reached the middle of her homeward course before she awoke to
any sort of consciousness of what was before her. Was it on such another
night as this--darker still, more cloudy and stormy--that one man had
struck another down, and wrenched from his breast that little token of
innocent affection and tragic misery? O God! could it be? Then she saw
herself at the opera, with that fatal eye upon her; she recalled the
sense of something malign regarding her, of which she had been conscious
in the Manse garden the night before the minister’s death. These
recollections and impressions came one by one, each thrusting her
through with a sharper and a sharper dart. She tried to escape from
them--to think what she ought to do. Something there was that must be
done. She was going back to him--her husband, her husband’s slayer--to
him who had dared to take her into his arms, knowing the awful ghost
that stood between them. Isabel hid her face, as if some accusing eye
had looked at her, and cried aloud, in the agony of her shame. How was
she polluted!--she who was Margaret’s mother and the minister’s wife! He
had come to her with that blood on his hand, knowing his own guilt, and
plucked her like a flower--taken her in spite of herself--made her his,
to bear his name, and bound her to him for ever and ever. She writhed
upon that sword as she sat and rocked herself on the dark wayside. It
seemed to her as if some cruel, avenging angel--as if God Himself--had
put the bitter weapon through her heart, and held it there, despite her
struggles, keeping her to a sense of the deepness of her misery,
preventing her from thinking rather what she must do. What was she to
do? Oh, if she could only think of that question, instead of writhing
and aching, and stabbing herself through and through with this!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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