Chinese -- England -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Epistolary fiction; Humorous stories
With what attenuated organs of repose this person would have reached
the end of so strenuous an occupation had he been compelled to twelve
enactments each hour throughout the gong-strokes of the day without any
literary relief, it is not enticing to dwell upon. This evil was averted
by a timely intervention, for upon proceeding to the outer air for the
third time I at once perceived among the foremost throng the engaging
full-face of William Beveledge Greyson. This really painstaking
individual had learned, as he afterwards explained, that the chiefs of
exchange (those who in the first case had opposed me resolutely,) had
received a written omen, and now in contrition were expressing their
willingness to hold out a full restitution. With this assurance he
had set forth in an unremitting search, and guided by street-watchers,
removers of superfluous earth, families propelling themselves forward
upon one foot, astrologers, two-wheeled charioteers, and others who move
early and secretly by night, he had traced my description to this same
Heath. Here he had been attracted by the displayed placard (remembering
my honourable boast), and approaching nearer, he had plainly recognised
my voice within. But in spite of this the successful disentanglement was
by no means yet accomplished.
Not expecting so involved a reversal of things, and being short-eyed by
nature, William Greyson did not wait for a fuller assurance than to
be satisfied that the one before him wore my robes and conformed in a
general outline, before he addressed him.
“Kong Ho,” he said pleasantly, “what the Chief Evil Spirit are you doing
up there?” adding persuasively, “Come down, there’s a good fellow. I
have something important to tell you.”
Thus appealed to, the one Fang hesitated in doubt, seeing on the one
hand a certain loss of face if he declined the conversation, and on the
other hand having no clear perception of what was required from him.
Therefore he entered upon a course of evasion and somewhat incapably
replied, “Chow Chop Wei Hai Wei Lung Tung Togo Kuroki Jim Jam Beri
Beri.”
“Don’t act the horned sheep,” said Beveledge, who was both resolute and
one easily set into violent motion by an opposing stream. “Come down,
or I’ll come up and fetch you.” And not being satisfied with Fang’s
ill-advised attempt to express himself equivocally, those around took up
the apt similitude of a self-opinionated animal, and began to suggest a
comparison to other creatures no less degraded.
“Rats yourselves!” exclaimed the easily-inflamed person at my side,
losing the inefficient cords of his prudence beneath the sting. “Who’s
a rabbit? For two guinea-pigs I’d mow all the grass between here and
the Spaniards with your own left ears,” and not permitting me sufficient
preparation to withhold the chain more firmly, he abruptly cast himself
down among them, amid a scene of the most untamed confusion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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